o/Headin' out to Eden, yea brother!
Headin' out to Eden, yea brother!

Sebastian Shaw's Greatest Hits

Sebastian Gets a Rap in the Mouth!

Julia Vows, With God as Her Witness, to Never Go Hungry Again!

Hallie Sucks a Lemon!

Today on Dark Shadows...

Sebastian Catches Cold!

Julia Drops an F Bomb!

Sebastian Takes Up the Piano!
"I've never heard anyone play Chopsticks with such feeling, Mr. Shaw."

Episode 1084

Starring Kathy Cody, David Henesy, Grayson Hall, Thayer David, Christopher Pennock
Original Script By Gordon Russell
Directed By Lela Swift
Caption Version by Graeme Cree

Read left to right, top to bottom

"My name is Eliot Stokes. The great house at Collinwood in the present time. Only Barnabas, Julia and I believe that that Collinwood is about to suffer a mysterious disaster, unless we prevent it... In which case it won't suffer a disaster. Barnabas and Julia are most interested in discovering a place called Rose Cottage, as they believe it to be the key to the disaster. The Devil Tots, Hallie and David, have discovered that Rose Cottage is actually a doll house, and worse yet, that some assembly is required..."

"(Bob Lloyd) Meanwhile at an abandoned mansion on the edge of town... oh, wait a minute. This one is supposed to be a model, isn't it?

(In the Drawing Room, Hallie and David take the Rose Cottage dolls to the fireplace)
"(Hallie) Tell me again what we're doing here."
"(David) I just told you upstairs."
"(Hallie) I know, but not everybody saw yesterday's show."

"(David) Okay, as you know, there were two dolls in Rose Cottage that looked like us. We decided that if we took those dolls and destroyed them, that it would break the spell, the Playroom would disappear, and we'd be free of the spirits."
"(Hallie) Go ahead."
(David tosses the dolls)
"(Hallie) I wonder if we're done the right thing?"
"(David) Look. They're burning. We have done the right thing! I can feel it!"
"(Hallie) Yes I can feel it too. I feel free! I feel liberated! I want to... to sing! o/Boooooorn Freeeeeeeeeee/o..."
"(David) (covering his ears) Well, I thought we'd done the right thing."

(Minutes later, outside the Playroom)
"(David) Okay, now if we've done the right thing, the Playroom should be gone, and the Linen Closet will be back."
"(Hallie) Linen Closet! Linen Closet! Come on, you Linen Closet!!"

"(Hallie) D'oh!"

"(Hallie) David, look! The dolls are back in the doll house!..."
"(Hallie) We just threw them in the fire place, and now they're back again!"
"(Hallie) Well, aren't you going to say something???"
"(David) I hate these scenes where they Break the Fourth Wall."


"(Bob Lloyd) Meanwhile in Niagara Falls, Barnabas is trying to become the first man to go over the credits in a barrel."


"(David) They can't be the same dolls as the ones we burned. They just can't be!"
"(Hallie) But they are, David. They're the same ones you threw in the fire!... Any other plans, Genius?"
"(David) Well... How about if we burn the clothes Daphne gave us too?"
"(Hallie) Better not, she might make us wear them anyway."

"(Hallie) This means that we're not free at all, David."
"(David) I know that."
"(Hallie) We're still under their control, and there's nothing we can do about it!"
"(David) You're right. Why does everything happen to me??"
"(Hallie) You? It's happening to me too!"
"(David) I know, but it's not as bad for you. All you're doing is turning into Carrie. I'm turning into a boy who plays with dolls!"

"(David) Wait a minute. Maybe these aren't the same dolls. Maybe Daphne made new ones."
"(Hallie) It really doesn't matter if she did or not. If she can replace the dolls, then obviously burning them isn't the answer to our problems."
"(David) I guess. But I'd swear these are the same. These are new dolls. The paint on Tad's hair is chipped in the exact same place as the other one."
"(Hallie) But how would Daphne repair dolls that had been thrown into the fire?"
"(David) Asbestos she can! Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"(Hallie) Oh, shut up!"
(sticks his head in the doll house)


"(Hallie) There's got to be something we can do!"
"(David) I'd sure like to know what."
"(Hallie) When this happened to you before? When you and Amy were possessed, how were you set free then?"
"(David) Oh, Barnabas went back in time to 1897 and changed history so that Quentin never died."
"(Hallie) Any chance of our changing history so that Tad and Carrie don't die?"
"(David) How are we supposed to just go back in time and change history???"
"(Hallie) I don't know, from the stories I've heard about this place, I thought you guys did it every day!"

"(Hallie) What are we going to do? Do you know what Daphne will do to us?"
"(David) What? Dress us up in funny clothes and steal our bodies? She's going to do that anyway."
"(Hallie) She'll do something worse to us to teach us a lesson!"
"(David) She can't mess us up too badly if she wants Tad and Carrie to have us."
"(Hallie) No, but she can still punish us in some way, can't she?"
"(David) How upset would you be if I said that the idea of being punished by Kate Jackson wasn't much of a disincentive?"
"(Hallie) D'oh!"


(The Playroom Theme strikes up)
"(Hallie) Listen! Do you hear that?"
Of course I hear it."
"(Hallie) It's the Carousel Music, but the carousel isn't playing!"
"(David) Then where's the music coming from? Is it the incidental music for this scene?"
"(Hallie) If it was, we wouldn't hear it, would we?"
"(David) Maybe we're not supposed to be hearing it."
"(Hallie) Oh great, now we're going to get punished for this too!"

"(Julia) But Eliot, why do you want to get Sebastian Shaw involved? Give me one good reason."
"(Professor Stokes) Must you ask? You and Barnabas have accomplished precisely bupkis. You returned home with six clues, and three of them have already passed, without you getting one step nearer to a resolution."
"(Julia) That was supposed to be a rhetorical question, you know."


"(Professor Stokes) The Night of the Sun and Moon turned out to be a lunar eclipse."
"(Julia) I know that!"
"(Professor Stokes) The Unfinished Horoscope, that was one of the clues. It turned out to be Carolyn's own horoscope. Barnabas tried and failed to get it finished, yet despite his failure, nothing happened."
"(Julia) He hasn't given up on finishing that yet."
"(Professor Stokes) And finally there was The Picnic. It happened, neither you or Barnabas was there, but again, nothing untoward happened."
"(Julia) Quentin got bitten by ants! Doesn't that count for something??"

"(Julia) You say nothing happened. In fact, we don't KNOW of anything that happened."
"(Professor Stokes) Oh, are you saying that something bad did happen and you and Barnabas missed it?"
"(Julia) Let's go back to "Nothing Happened"."
"(Professor Stokes) Well, we need to handle somebody in to help us. I mean, if you had termites, you wouldn't try to get rid of them yourself, would you?"
"(Julia) No."
"(Professor Stokes) Or silverfish? How about silverfish?"
"(Julia) Of course not."
"(Professor Stokes) Well then, how are ghosts any different?"
"(Julia) So, the question is how are ghosts different than silverfish?"
"(Professor Stokes) It could be roaches. Don't try to make it sound ridiculous."

"(Professor Stokes) There are only three clues left, Julia. We've got to call in some professional help."
"(Julia) And you think Sebastian Shaw could help us?"
"(Professor Stokes) If he's a fraud, he's an extremely clever one. When it comes to something like clairvoyance, I'm not easily impressed."
"(Julia) What did he say that impressed you so much?"
"(Professor Stokes) Erm... that Hallie had blonde hair, mostly."
"(Julia) That's it?"
"(Professor Stokes) Well, that's the most specific thing that he saw."
"(Julia) Okay, and what do you want to tell him?"
"(Professor Stokes) I say tell him everything from Parallel Time up to 1995."
"(Julia) Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean. And if he believes our story, we'll KNOW he's a crackpot!"
"(Professor Stokes) D'oh!"

"(Julia) The one clue I'd really like to know about is Rose Cottage. I think that's the biggie. Could he help with that?"
"(Professor Stokes) I don't see why not. The Ghostbusters are booked up through the end of the year. Why are you so reluctant to seek Mr. Shaw's help?"
"(Julia) You're forgetting he's already done Mrs. Stoddard's horoscope and saw absolutely nothing wrong. Predict a disaster? I don't think Mr. Shaw could spot a beer stain on a bowling shirt."

"(Bob Lloyd) Meanwhile, in an abandoned house on the east of town..."
"(Ken McEwen) Will you stop doing that??"
"(Bob Lloyd) I can't help it, it looks better than our regular models."


(Upstairs, Hallie and David are searching the Playroom for the source of that music)
"(David) I don't understand it. The music has got to be coming from some place in this room."
"(Hallie) David. I know where it's coming from!"
"(David) Where?"
"(Hallie) There! Inside Rose Cottage."
"(David) Here. Let me handle this."
(bangs on the dollhouse roof)
"(David) Hey, hold it down in there, willya??"

(the music stops)
"(Hallie) Was it coming from in there?"
"(David) Yeah! Yeah, I can see it now. There's a little miniature carousel in there!"
"(Hallie) Where? I didn't see one."
"(David) Yes you did. Only we'd thought it was a plastic cake."

"(Hallie) David, look!"
"(David) The lights just came on!"
"(Hallie) How is that possible!?"
"(David) I don't know!" *
* If you thought you saw the lights on there the other day, try to forget it. We decided it would be better to make a big reveal out of it."

"(David) This can't be happening! I must be dreaming it!"
"(Hallie) No, I saw the lights go on!"
"(David) They're still on! That's not the part I don't believe!"
"(Hallie) Then what?"
"(David) There's a man in there!"
"(Hallie) Who? The Ty-d-Bowl Man?"
"(David) I don't know who it is, but it's not a doll. It's a real life man!"
"(Hallie) The size of a finger?"
"(David) No, he's giving me the finger, and he's bigger than that."

"(Hallie) David, how can there be lights inside a doll house with no electricity?"
"(David) I dunno! Solar panels? Is that the scariest part to you? There's a two inch man in there!"
"(Hallie) Where? I don't see anything?"
"(David) He disappeared just as you walked up, but he was there! I swear!"
"(Hallie) I believe you, David."
"(David) You do?"
"(Hallie) After ghost governesses, disappearing playrooms, phantom model kits, and asbestos dolls, it would almost be a disappointment if there WEREN'T a two inch guy in a dollhouse flipping you the bird."


"(David) Thank goodness you believe me. Now, where were we?"
"(Hallie) I think we were just discussing the utter hopelessness of our situation."
"(David) Wait a minute! Maybe there is something we can do!"
"(Hallie) Like what?"
"(David) Maybe we can't actually tell anybody about the Playroom. But suppose we wrote it all down in a notebook and somebody found it!"
"(Hallie) Do you think it would work!?"
"(David) Trust me! There's not very much that I'm good at, but one thing I can do is get caught!"

(Downstairs, Julia returns to Collinwood)
"(Professor Stokes) Try to relax, Julia. I'm sure Mr. Shaw will come as soon as he come."
"(Julia) Sorry, Eliot. I'd be a lot more relaxed if I didn't feel Gerard's presence here in this house."
"(Professor Stokes) You're sure it's here?"
"(Julia) Yes, not as strong as in 1995, but he's definitely here. I haven't dared get undressed anywhere in this house ever since I first felt it."
"(Professor Stokes) And for that we can all be grateful."
"(Julia) D'oh!"

"(Professor Stokes) What woke Gerard up, do you suppose?"
"(Julia) Eh?"
"(Professor Stokes) Well, if you'll remember, when Quentin was haunting the house, he was awoken when David and Amy discovered his sealed up bedroom in the West Wing. If Gerard died in 1841, what event triggered his awakening?"
"(Julia) What are you getting at, Eliot?"
"(Professor Stokes) Well, I've read a lot of science fiction, Julia. And isn't it possible that the entire reason Gerard is here is because you and Barnabas aroused his spirit by opening up the door to the linen closet when you two returned from 1995? That would mean that, as in so many time travel stories, you and Barnabas actually cause the disaster you sought to prevent. What would you say to that?"
"(Julia) I'd say "whoops"!"

(Up in his room, David has a Big Chief tablet ready for writing)
"(David) What a choice. The only way I can keep from being possessed is to write an extra homework assignment. Did some sick Junior High Teacher write this script??"


"(David) Let's see, how did this all start?"
"(Hallie) The day a beautiful blonde bombshell walked into your life?"
"(David) No, no, it was... the day we heard the music that led us to the Playroom."
"(Hallie) David, I don't think we should be writing this down. Isn't writing it the same as telling it to somebody? It will make Daphne angry."
"(David) NOT if we write it in Jive hipster talk that she won't understand!"
"(Hallie) Hipster talk?"
"(David) Yeah, like this: "August 7. I, David Rocker Dude Collins, and my chick Hallie "Goldilocks" Stokes boogied on down to the Cowboy side of the ranch, and grooved to the most tubular beat we'd ever probosculated to." Daphne will never understand that!"
"(Hallie) I don't understand it!"

"(David) You're against it?"
"(Hallie) No. No, you're right. I guess we have to try to write it down. I mean, if we disappear, it's the only way the others will know what happened to us?"
"(David) Oh! I hadn't thought of that. Maybe we shouldn't write it."
"(Hallie) What do you mean?"
"(David) If we do become Tad and Carrie permanently, do I really want anybody knowing that that git in the Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit is me!? I've got a reputation to think of!"


"(Julia) Eliot, will you stop pacing? You're making me nervous."
"(Professor Stokes) This is the first exercise I've gotten since 1948, and you're against it!"

(Stokes answers a knock at the door)
"(Professor Stokes) Mr. Shaw."
"(Sebastian) Professor."
"(Professor Stokes) Thank you for coming."
"(Sebastian) It was quite a surprise. I don't usually make House Calls."
"(Professor Stokes) Didn't your horoscope mention it?"
"(Sebastian) Don't get funny."

"(Professor Stokes) Mr. Shaw, I'd like you to meet Dr. Julia Hoffman."
"(Julia) Please to meet you."
"(Sebastian) Peace, man."
"(Julia) Look, this joke has gone on for too many years now! I am NOT a man, and I'm not amused when people pretend I am!"
"(Professor Stokes) No, no, Julia. He's not insulting you. "Man" is just hipster talk."
"(Julia) And just what would the President of the Kate Smith Fan Club know about hip talk???"

"(Sebastian) Look, let's not fight. How about if you two squares just tell me what this "Emergency" is all about?"
"(Professor Stokes) Mr. Shaw, your remarkable talents allow you to see into the future. What would you say if I told you that Dr. Hoffman has been to the future?"
"(Sebastian) I'd say who's going to win the World Series? Pittsburgh or Baltimore?"
"(Julia) Don't you know?"
"(Sebastian) Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm a psychic. Of course."

(In David's Room, David is still writing)
(scribble, scribble, scribble)
"(Hallie) Heinous is "ei", not "ie"."
"(David) Oh. Thanks."
(erase, erase, erase)
"(Hallie) And "abhominable" doesn't have an "h" in it."
"(David) I'm trying to make it classy, okay!!"


"(David) (writing) We wanted so much to tell about Rose Cottage. But for some reason, we couldn't speak about it in front of others. Neither of us knew why."
"(Hallie) Mention how afraid we both were."
"(David) (writing) Hallie whined and complained, but I was brave about it."
"(Hallie) I did not!"

"(Julia) ...And that's the whole story."
"(Sebastian) (visibly shaken) I can't BELIEVE what you're telling me! It's too incredible!"
"(Julia) I know. The entire family wiped out. Collinwood in ruins. It's terrible."
"(Julia) No, no, not that part. But the Beatles are really going to break up? THIS year???"

"(Professor Stokes) And since they returned, they've been trying to stave off the disaster. With little success, I might add."
"(Julia) You didn't have to add that."
"(Sebastian) I'm sorry. I find your story fascinating. Really fascinating."
"(Julia) I didn't know you were a dilettante."
"(Sebastian) D'oh!"


"(Professor Stokes) The question is, do you believe the story?"
"(Sebastian) Professor, I've no reason not to believe it."
"(Julia) Then can you help us?"
"(Sebastian) I don't know. I don't know if I can or not."
"(Julia) Well, can you at least tell us if there are any active spirits in the house that need exorcising?"
"(Sebastian) Well, if they're active, they don't need exorcise. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"(Sebastian) That's a little Astrologer's joke."
"(Professor Stokes) Uh... Yeah."


"(Julia) You're not willing to help us?"
"(Sebastian) No, I am. I just don't know if I can."
"(Professor Stokes) Mr. Shaw, you gave me a demonstration of your psychic powers. Surely if there's a disaster brewing, your super sensitive psychic sniffer might pick it up."
"(Sebastian) All right, I'll try. But I hope the two of you don't think of me as being all powerful. I'm not, you know."
(Sebastian swats a flea in his hair)
"(Julia) Don't worry, we promise not to think that."


"(Sebastian) Now, it may not work, you know."
"(Professor Stokes) We know."
"(Sebastian) There are many times when I concentrate, and absolutely nothing happens."
"(Professor Stokes) We know."
"(Sebastian) What exactly am I supposed to be looking for?"
"(Julia) Well, I'm most intrigued by the clue about Rose Cottage."
"(Sebastian) That's a Bed and Breakfast in Baxter Springs, Kansas, isn't it?"
"(Julia) How do you know that?"
"(Sebastian) I stayed there once when I was on the la... I mean when I was touring."

"(Julia) Well, I don't think Rose Cottage is in Kansas... any more. Perhaps you could help us to locate it. It may be a matter of Life and Breath!"
"(Sebastian) I'll try."
(Sebastian goes to a lamp and concentrates)
"(Julia) See anything?"
"(Sebastian) Wait a minute! Wait a minute, I'm getting something! Two people."
"(Julia) Yes?"
"(Sebastian) A man and a woman."
"(Professor Stokes) Yes, yes?"
"(Sebastian) He's handing her a wad of bills! They're going into a house."
"(Julia) Yes, yes, yes?"
"(Sebastian) And now they... Oh, darn!"
"(Professor Stokes) What happened?"
"(Sebastian) They pulled the shades, just as it was getting good."


"(Julia) We're looking for Rose Cottage, not some sleazy bordello!"
"(Professor Stokes) How do we know Rose Cottage isn't a sleazy bordello?"
"(Julia) Good point."
"(Sebastian) Rose... Cottage. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!! Rose... Cottage. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!"
(Sebastian sees a vision of the carousel)
"(Professor Stokes) What is it?"
"(Sebastian) I think I'm seeing... The inside of a Burger King."
"(Julia) A Burger King!?"

(Sebastian's vision pans back and forth across the Playroom, passing right over Rose Cottage in the process) *
* If this show were shot in wide screen, you'd have got a better view.


(Sebastian's vision fades)
"(Julia) Well?? What did you see?"
"(Sebastian) Nada. That'll be a hundred bucks, please."
"(Julia) D'oh!"


"(Professor Stokes) You didn't see anything??"
"(Sebastian) I saw something. But it didn't look anything like a Rose Cottage."
"(Julia) What does a Rose Cottage look like, anyway?"
"(Professor Stokes) Tell us what you did see."
"(Sebastian) Very little, actually. I saw a room filled with toys. Nothing more."
"(Julia) Perhaps it was just a room in Rose Cottage, which wouldn't help us locate it."
"(Professor Stokes) Did you notice if there were any hamburgers?"
"(Julia) Oh, shut up."

"(Sebastian) Anything else?"
"(Julia) Yes, could you possibly have a word with our Devil Tots?"
"(Sebastian) Why?"
"(Julia) We feel they know a great deal more than they're telling us. Perhaps if you talked to them, you might have some psychic reaction."
"(Sebastian) Okay, but what exactly are Devil Tots?"
"(Julia) That's just the name we've always had for the kids who have lived in this house. They're kids. But kids with an overly ghoulish sense of humor, and especially prone to pranks and spiritual possession. Think of a cross between Dennis the Menace, the Katzenjammer Kids, Julius Abruzzio from the old Phil Harris Show, and Wednesday and Puggsley Adams."
"(Sebastian) I think I'm having a reaction, but it's not psychic..."


(Upstairs, the Notebook is nearly finished)
"(Hallie) (reading) 'It was on that day that Hallie stupidly woke the ghosts from their slumber. I tried to stop her, but...' Hey, WAIT a minute, buster!!"

(knock, knock, knock)
(David stashes the notebook as Stokes enters)
"(Professor Stokes) Hello, Hallie. David. If you two would come downstairs with me, there's someone I'd like you to meet."
"(Hallie) Bobby Sherman!?"
"(Professor Stokes) Er no, but it's somebody from that same generation."
"(David) Who?"
"(Professor Stokes) Sebastian Shaw?"
"(Hallie) What band is he with?"
"(Professor Stokes) Well, none. But from the looks of him, he may have been at Woodstock."
"(Hallie and David) Let's go!"

(Downstairs, Julia comes out having to serve the tea herself)
"(Julia) Rassen, frassen, Mrs. Johnson..."
(Julia hears an oddly familiar tune coming from the Drawing Room Piano)
"(Julia) (to herself) That music! It's the same tune that Barnabas and I heard in 1995! (the piano hits a clinker)
"(Julia) Only even MORE painful!"


(Julia suspiciously enters the Drawing Room with the tray, and finds Sebastian plinking away at the piano)
"(Julia) Do you take anything in your tea, Mr. Shaw?"
"(Sebastian) Yeah, but don't even think about it, Doctor. You'd get busted."

"(Julia) That's a very interesting melody, you're playing."
"(Sebastian) Well, I really wouldn't call it playing..."
"(Julia) No?"
"(Sebastian) "Torturing"! That's the word for it."


"(Julia) What's the tune?"
"(Sebastian) Oh, just something I made up out of my head."
"(Julia) Just now, you mean?"
"(Sebastian) Yes, that's right. "(Julia) And you never heard it before?"
"(Sebastian) Never."
"(Julia) You're lying!"
"(Sebastian) I beg your pardon?"
"(Julia) You've heard that tune before, because so have I! In the Playroom in 1995!"
"(Sebastian) What a coincidence!"
"(Julia) Coincidence, my clavicle! You heard that in your vision!"
"(Sebastian) How can you HEAR something in a "vision"? If I'd heard it, it would be an... audition... or something!"

"(Sebastian) I admit I saw a room! But I didn't hear anything!"
"(Julia) There is no way you could have just made up the melody. And you know that it has something to do with the spirits in this house!"
"(Sebastian) I "KNOW" nothing of the sort, Doctor!"
"(Julia) Oh, or does it have something to do with Rose Cottage?"
"(Sebastian) I don't know what you're talking about!"
"(Julia) The music, dummy! Face the music!"
"(Sebastian) D'oh!"

"(Sebastian) I mean I know what you're talking about, but it's all wrong!"
"(Julia) When I first heard of you, I suspected that you were a fraud. Now I'm beginning to think you're something worse. You're… you're a man with genuine second sight, who apparently uses it only for monetary gain!"
"(Sebastian) I don't have to stand here and take this abuse, doctor, or these slurs against my honesty! I'm not some travelling Snake Oil Salesman, you know! I've got my own office and 1-800 number and everything!"

(A moment after Sebastian storms out of the house, Stokes appears on the landing with Hallie and David)
"(Professor Stokes) Come along, children. The nice man is going to tell your fortunes, and then you young scamps can have a story!"
"(Hallie) You're humiliating me, Uncle Eliot!"

"(Julia) Well, the children can go back to their room, Eliot. Mr. Shaw just left."
"(Professor Stokes) Run along, children, we'll talk later."
(they do)
"(Professor Stokes) All right, what happened?"
"(Julia) I'm afraid I was a bit too outspoken with Mr. Shaw. I implied that he was a two-bit, money-grubbing, sideshow level, carny hick, and he took offense and left."
"(Professor Stokes) Strange. I should think he'd be used to that kind of thing by now."

"(Professor Stokes) Is there any reason you hit him up with that much reality?"
"(Julia) When I returned with the tea, I found him plinking out the Playroom Theme from 1995 on the piano, but he claimed he just made it up."
"(Professor Stokes) And now he's gone, and with him our chance to learn something. Have you got anything to say for yourself?"
"(Julia) Only one. F..."
(smash cut to next scene)

"(David) I just need to add one more thing, then we'll hide the book."
"(Hallie) Can I add one thing to it too?"
"(David) What?"
"(Hallie) Where I hid Father's wallet last year. I was never able to confess that either."

(When they open the drawer, the notebook is missing)
"(David) Hey, it's gone! The notebook's gone!"
"(Hallie) Who could have taken it?"
"(David) I don't know. Aunt Elizabeth or Mrs. Johnson, maybe?"
"(Hallie) But we were only away for 2 minutes!"
"(David) Maybe Daphne took it."
"(Hallie) Uh oh! If Daphne reads what you wrote, we're dead.... (pause) Deader!"

"(Professor Stokes) Are you quite sure that the song you heard was the same as the Playroom Theme?"
"(Julia) Don't you think I know that tune by now?"
"(Professor Stokes) Well, I still think it sounds like the Deutschlandlied. You know. o/Einigkeit und recht und freiheit, fur das Deutsches va-ter-land/o."
"(Julia) Uh huh. Professor, are you sure you were in Switzerland during the war?"

"(Professor Stokes) If Mr. Shaw heard your theme, I can't fathom why he didn't mention it to us."
"(Julia) He's afraid of losing Elizabeth as a customer, that's why."
"(Professor Stokes) Let's talk again soon. I still feel that he can be enormously helpful to us, if we can get on his good side."
"(Julia) Don't look at me, I've only got five bucks."

(Outside the Playroom)
"(Hallie) David, wait! We don't know that Daphne took the notebook. So, just in case, when we go in there, look for it, but DON'T mention it out loud."
"(David) Okay, maybe we don't know she took it, but she's the only logical suspect... As logical as a ghost can be, that is."

(David and Hallie open the door to see none other than Tad and Carrie reading their notes!)
"(Carrie) Why, Tad! Methinks this is David's diary we've come across!"
"(Tad) Upon my soul, it looks more like his Confession! Look what he says he did to Hallie's Barbie doll!"
"(Hallie) Wait a minute, what was that part??"
"(David) Uh, say Good Night, Gracie!"
(fade to black)

"(Quentin) Julia, I just found this diary. It says that Rose Cottage is located right next door to Grayson Hall."
"(Julia) D'oh!"

"(Bob Lloyd) But The Mystery of Gerard and Daphne, was soon overshadowed by The Mystery of Professor Stokes, who disappears after this episode for the remainder of the storyline..."


"(Sebastian) Having a square name like "Sebastian" is holding me back, man. From now on I want to be known as Summer Iris Luna Harmony Lily Joy."
"(Ken McEwen) Where'd that come from?"
"(Sebastian) I took three of those "What Is Your Hippie Name?" quizzes, and combined the results."

"(Hallie) Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production."
"(Bob Lloyd) That's supposed to come one picture later."


          Episode 1084:   In the playroom, David and Hallie see their identical 1840 counterparts, Tad and Carrie.