Carolyn Realizes She Coulda Hadda V-8!

David and Hallie Get Married In Their Pyjamas!

The Collinsport Players Do The Odd Couple!
"On November 14, Barnabas Collins was asked to remove himself from his place of residence!"

Today on Dark Shadows...

Hallie Is Shamed For Life!
"Yaaaah!! I've been sitting on a boy's bed in my nightie!"

Barnabas Tries to Counter the Playroom Theme By Dragging Out Quentin's Victrola Again!
"We'll fight bad music with bad music!"

Hallie Redecorates!
"Peach! I think I'll paint the ceiling Peach!"

Episode 1098

Starring Kathy Cody, Grayson Hall, Jonathan Frid, David Henesy, David Selby, Nancy Barrett
Original Script By Joe Caldwell
Directed By Henry Kaplan
Caption Version by Graeme Cree

Read left to right, top to bottom

"My name is Quentin Collins. Last time on Dark Shadows, Hallie and David were repossessed..."

"(Quentin) In the Collinwood of the Present (which will be the Collinwood of the Past by the time these captions are read), Barnabas Collins and Julia Hoffman are trying desperately to prevent a disaster they believe will soon obliterate the Great Estate and all its inhabitants. On this night, one of the clues to the coming calamity has occurred: Carolyn, has sung her song. A song from the past century. But now, as darkness approaches, they discover something even more terrifying."
"(Carolyn) I resent that!"

(In David's Room)
"(Tavid) But we’re fine now. You can see that. We haven’t been hurt. Geez, a couple of teenagers sneak out to the gazebo at night, and everybody goes to pieces over it."
"(Barnabas) Are you sure that's ALL you did?"
"(Callie) Of course I am. Why, we've no more got some dark and sinister secret... than you have, Cousin Barnabas."
"(Barnabas) Hmmm..."


(Carolyn enters)
"(Carolyn) Crikey, I thought I heard voices, luv. You see, I was right. Didn’t I tell you the children were alive and well?"
"(Barnabas) Yes, you did. But how did you know?"
"(Carolyn) A little bird told me."
(David's cuckoo clock strikes)

"(Barnabas) Well, all's well that ends in the well. I wish I could share your optimism. I still feel that the two of you need to be removed from Collinwood. At least for the time being."
"(Callie) Aww, we don't want to go to Uncle Elliot's."
"(Tavid) Besides, I don't think he likes me."
"(Barnabas) Oh, really? What fiendish prank did you play on him to arouse his ire? Did you put shoe black on his monocle again? Or TP his house?"
"(Tavid) I switched his pork rinds with the Fat Free kind."

(As Barnabas leaves, their voices carry through the walls like they were tissue paper)
"(Carolyn's Voice) Crikey, we sure fooled 'im, didn't we?"
"(David's Voice) He never for a moment suspected that we were Tad and Carrie, did he, Carrie?"
"(Hallie's Voice) Not for a moment, Tad!"
"(Barnabas) And to think I used to curse these cheap sets!"

(Barnabas storms back in)
"(Barnabas) You two are possessed! You're both possessed!!"
"(Carolyn) Don't forget me, luv."
"(Barnabas) Well, you I already knew about."



"(Barnabas) You heard me! You two are possessed!"
"(Tavid) Could we talk about this later, Cousin Barnabas? I always have to go to the bathroom after those credits."

"(Barnabas) We're going to talk about it now! You two are possessed!"
"(Tavid) Possessed, Cousin Barnabas? I don’t know what you’re talking about. "(Tavid) Do you know what he's talking about, Hallie?"
"(Callie) No, I don’t! I don't know what he means! And it frightens me!! Oh, how it frightens me so!!!"
"(Tavid) Psst! Cool it, Carrie. Even Hallie doesn't get that scared."
"(Callie) Sorry about that."

"(Tavid) What makes you think we're... what was that word you used?"
"(Barnabas) Possessed! I know you are because a moment ago you answered to the names of Tad and Carrie."
"(Tavid) That was a game!"
"(Callie) Yes, we found those old clothes belonging to Tad and Carrie, and did a dressup game where we pretended we were them."
"(Barnabas) I also heard you call Carolyn Leticia. And she wasn't part of your dressup games."
"(Tavid) Oh well, she's just nuts."
"(Carolyn) Hey!"

"(Tavid) All this fuss just because we played a game? You know, other kids are out there doing sex and drugs."
"(Barnabas) Well, if you like games so much, I'll play too. Tell me the name of your mother."
"(Tavid) My mother!? Um... Let's see... She liked to die by fire, I remember that much..."
"(Barnabas) Very well, when is your birthday?"
"(Tavid) October 20th."
"(Barnabas) What year?"
"(Tavid) Every year, silly!"
"(Barnabas) D'oh!"

"(Barnabas) I mean what year were you born?"
"(Tavid) Oh, uh. Let's see... 18..."
"(Callie) 19!"
"(Tavid) 19, sorry.... 19... 56?"
"(Barnabas) Are you asking me or telling me?"
"(Tavid) Telling you! Did I get it right?"
"(Barnabas) Er... I don't know, come to think of it. Dark Shadows Trivia isn't my forte."

"(Tavid) Can we go now?"
"(Barnabas) Not yet. Who was your governess before Maggie? Riddle me that, boy wonder!"
"(Tavid) Erm..."
"(Barnabas) Come on, come on. The one who didn't understand anything. Had three faces? Disappeared into the past? Surely you haven't forgotten that."
"(Tavid) Jane Eyre!"
"(Barnabas) No, it wasn't Jane Eyre! Come on. Pretty young ingenue? Obsessed with talking about the Foundling Home she grew up in?"
"(Tavid) It wasn't... Mrs. Johnson, was it?"
"(Barnabas) Don't be absurd. Mrs. Johnson hasn't been an ingenue since The War of 1812!"
"(Mrs. Johnson's Voice) I heard that!!"

"(Callie) Leave him alone!"
"(Barnabas) Oh, you want to play too, young lady? Very well. Under what circumstances did you come to Collinwood?"
"(Callie) Denise Nickerson went off to make Willy Wonka, so I auditioned for the part of her replacement."
"(Barnabas) What were your parents names?"
"(Callie) Um... Mr. and Mrs. Stokes!"
"(Barnabas) What were their first names?"
"(Callie) I don't know. We were never on a first name basis."


"(Callie) Oh, stop it! Please stop torturing us!"
"(Barnabas) Stop what? These are perfectly simple questions that David and Hallie could answer in their sleep. It's not like I'm asking you to solve quadratic equations or conjugate Latin verbs. The reason you don't know the answers is that you are not Hallie and David! They were lured out of this house by spirits and their bodies possessed by them!"
"(Tavid) Mary Poppins?"
"(Barnabas) Too late! You've already blown that question, David!"

"(Callie) Daphne, help us!"
"(Tavid) Quiet, Carrie! He can't bully us! We have our rights!"
"(Barnabas) What rights? 19th century children were taught to be seen and not heard! Now, shut up!"
"(Tavid) Yes sir!"
(Julia enters)
"(Julia) What's going on here?"
"(Barnabas) We appear to be too late, Julia. It appears that the possession has already taken place."
"(Julia) Well, we'll soon see about that. Young lady, what do you think about Bobby Sherman?"
"(Callie) Who?"
"(Julia) They are possessed!!"


Source:  Get Smart - Smart Fit the Battle of Jericho
"(Barnabas) You two are going to stay here until you tell us what the point of this possession is."
"(Carolyn) They can't tell you that. They don't know themselves."
"(Barnabas) Do you?"
"(Carolyn) No. All I know is that they don't. Ta ta."
(Carolyn leaves)
"(Tavid) All right, so you know! it doesn't matter though, because there's nothing you can do about it."
"(Barnabas) That remains to be seen!"
"(Julia) Good comeback, Barnabas."
"(Barnabas) D'oh!"


"(Barnabas) Julia and I shall decide what to do with you. In the meantime, don't leave this house until we decide... if we're removing you from the house."
"(Tavid) You can't tell us what to do!"
"(Callie) Yeah! Do!"
"(Tavid) We've got friends! Powerful friends!"
"(Callie) Yeah! Friends!"
"(Tavid) And they'll take care of you if you try to interfere!"
"(Callie) Yeah! Interfere!"
"(Tavid) Carrie, please! I rehearsed this as a Single."

"(Tavid) You certainly don't need to worry about us leaving the house. The fact is that we're here, and we're here to stay!"
"(Barnabas) Such effrontery!"
"(Callie) And if you don't like it, well then, that's just too bad!"
"(Julia) (incensed) Bite 'em, Barnabas!!"

(Barnabas and Julia step outside for a Pow Wow)
"(Julia) Now what? If they're possessed, hasn't Gerard already won?"
"(Barnabas) Gerard hasn't won until the family is dead and the house deserted!"
"(Julia) That's the spirit... I think."


"(Julia) All right, you can say Gerard hasn't won yet. But then, if he hasn't, what do we do next?"
"(Barnabas) Well, first of all, I'm afraid we have no choice but to go and tell Stokes."
"(Julia) (sternly) Tell Stokes what, Barnabas?"
"(Barnabas) Erm... That his niece won't be using words like "Groovy" any more."

(Inside, David and Hallie are eavesdropping)
"(Callie) Are they gone?"
"(Tavid) I think so. I heard a pair of shoes stomp down the corridor."
(Looks at Hallie clinging to him)
"(Tavid) Hey! Back six inches, Carrie, otherwise we have to get married. You know that."
"(Callie) Sorry, I forgot!"


"(Callie) Well, this is a fine kettle of fish. I never blew a secret that quickly when I was trying to! The same episode?? They had to find out the very same episode??"
"(Tavid) Don’t worry. It doesn't matter if they know or not. What can they do about it? It's like I told Barnabas. We're here, and we're here to stay."
"(Callie) That's right!"
"(Tavid) Or at least until we get re-possessed by the next hostile spirit that blows through."

"(Callie) I guess I should have known we'd be found out eventually. If not for Barnabas and his Dark Shadows Trivia questions, then Maggie would have gotten suspicious in our lessons, when we only knew U.S. History up through 1840."
"(Tavid) You said it. David and Hallie didn't even know that much."


"(Callie) Oh, Tad! We’re strangers in our own home! I can’t believe it. Is this really what we wanted?"
"(Tavid) It beats being dead, doesn't it?"
"(Callie) I suppose so."
"(Tavid) Besides, it doesn't matter what we want. It's what Gerard wants that matters. And he sent us on ahead to make sure that Collinwood was safe before he and Daphne followed."
"(Callie) Us? But we're just kids. How can we do a better job of checking the place out than Gerard and Daphne can?"
"(Tavid) Well, Gerard tried to explain it to me, but I didn't quite get it. It had something to do with releasing a canary into a coal mine."
"(Callie) Well, that's really for the birds!"

"(Callie) Where are you going?"
"(Tavid) To the Playroom. Gerard told me that if ever I wasn't sure what to do next, I could always get my marching orders there."
"(Callie) I’ll come with you."
"(Tavid) No. I have to go alone. Gerard uses some salty language sometimes."
"(Callie) Really, Tad. I can take it if you can."
"(Tavid) No, really. Some of his stuff just isn't fit for a lady's ears."
"(Callie) Oh, come on. Just whisper some of it to me, to give me an idea."
"(Tavid) Well... Okay, you asked for it!"
"(Callie) Churlish motley-minded hugger-mugger?????"

"(Callie) I wish Daphne was with us. I don’t think we would feel so alone if she was."
"(Tavid) We wouldn't feel alone because we wouldn't BE alone."
"(Callie) Oh yeah. Tad? I almost hate to ask... But where are David and Hallie now?"
"(Tavid) I don't know, but I think they're in the state... of perfect nothingness."
"(Callie) Oh, Iowa?"
"(Tavid) No, you don't understand. They're in a place where time, space and reality blend together into a Nirvana-like oblivion."
"(Callie) Yeah, I know that place. Right outside Des Moines."

"(Callie) Are you trying to say that David and Hallie are dead?"
"(Tavid) No. At least I don't think so."
"(Callie) Then what?"
"(Tavid) I think that as long as we're here, David and Hallie just aren't... anywhere. While we're here, they don't exist at all."
"(Callie) I suppose it sounds strange to say this, but I hope they'll be okay. I like them."
"(Tavid) I know. I liked them too. David was so rugged and cool."
"(Callie) And Hallie so good looking."

(In Quentin's Room, Quentin is thinking to himself and singing)
"(Quentin) Only 99 bottles of beer on the wall? I'd better stock up a little when I go out later."

(Carolyn enters)
"(Quentin) Carolyn? What can I do you for?"
"(Carolyn) This is so strange. I came here to tell you something, and now I can't remember what it was."
"(Quentin) Was it bigger than a breadbox?"
"(Carolyn) It was, now that you mention it. I wanted to see if you had any aspirin for this headache I've got."


"(Quentin) Has Barnabas figured out where the Devil Tots hid themselves?"
"(Carolyn) In the Conservatory, or so they claimed, but nobody is buying it."
"(Quentin) But they are okay?"
"(Carolyn) Yes... Well, I mean as much as ever. Why shouldn't they be?"
"(Quentin) Oh... I dunno."
"(Carolyn) Are you all right, Quentin? You're acting very strange."
"(Quentin) Strange? Er, what do you mean?"
"(Carolyn) Well, roughly speaking, about 67% more weaselly than usual."

"(Quentin) Er, don't be silly. I'm Quentin Collins. What have I got to be weaselly about? In fact, if I were weaselly, that would automatically make weasels cool."
"(Carolyn) I can't put my finger on it. But you bear all the marks of a somebody who's just betrayed his best friends for a woman."
"(Quentin) Worse than that, I'm not sure if I even got the woman!"


"(Carolyn) Quentin, what did you do??"
"(Quentin) Nothing. I was only kidding. You ought to go get some rest. I know I could use it."
"(Carolyn) Yes. To sleep. Perchance to dream."
"(Quentin) Perchance!?"
"(Carolyn) That's Shakespeare."
"(Quentin) You're sleeping with Shakespeare??"
"(Carolyn) D'oh!"

"(Barnabas) What really annoys me, Julia, are the clues. I mean, if all this were going on around us and had taken us by surprise, that would be one thing! But to have all these clues and derive absolutely ZERO benefit from them, just makes it look as though we don't know what we're doing!"
(Julia whistles tunelessly)

"(Julia) Now Barnabas, perhaps it's not as bad as all that. We've had no luck with Carolyn's Clues, true. But what about Pansy Faye?"
"(Barnabas) What about her?"
"(Julia) Well, you said the other day that Gerard had made his one fatal mistake in not realizing that you knew Pansy Faye in 1897."
"(Barnabas) Oh yes, THAT. Well, I'm afraid, the, er, jury is still out on that one."
"(Julia) Total washout, huh?"
"(Barnabas) I'm afraid so."

"(Julia) What went wrong?"
"(Barnabas) Well, it's appearing now that Carolyn may indeed be possessed by an ancestor of Pansy Faye. But this extraordinary coincidence may not actually benefit us in any way."
"(Julia) Well, buck up. We still have two more clues. There’s The Destruction of Rose Cottage and The Murder."
"(Barnabas) We're certain to muff those too. We don't even know which comes first. Carolyn neglected to put her clues in chronological order. Gerard has possessed the children, and has a tighter grip on the house than ever. Why can't we fight him??"
"(Julia) I think there's a reason for that, Barnabas! Someone in this house is helping him!"
"(Barnabas) Oh, please tell me it's Willie! I haven't had an excuse to Wedgie him since we got back from Parallel Time."

"(Julia) Willie lives in the Old House. Someone who lives here is helping him."
"(Barnabas) Sigh, not Willie then?"
"(Julia) No, but you could always wedgie him for not finding out about it, I suppose. But look at this handkerchief I found."
"(Barnabas) Phew! It reeks of poseys."
"(Julia) That's lilac. For the spirits to have taken control of the children so easily and successfully, they must have had the help of an adult in this house!"
"(Barnabas) Do you have anyone in mind?"
"(Julia) Yes. Quentin!"
"(Barnabas) I thought you said an adult!"

"(Julia) Listen, do you remember the hold that Daphne had on Quentin in the future?"
"(Barnabas) Certainly. Are you saying that… that Daphne already has control over him and we don’t know it?"
"(Julia) I am convinced of it. This handkerchief is Daphne's. The scent of lilac is her calling card! I left Quentin watching Hallie while I went up to pack her things. When I came back, Hallie was gone and this handkerchief was on the floor. Daphne must have been here, and that's how Hallie disappeared."
"(Barnabas) I simply can't believe it! Quentin! Bewitched by a woman... Oh, yes. I see it now."


(Tavid returns to his room)
"(Tavid) Carrie?"
"(Callie) Right here."
"(Tavid) What are you doing in the dark?"
"(Callie) It's easier to manifest myself in gloom and shadows."
"(Tavid) Whaddya mean "manifest yourself"?? You're not dead any more, you know!"
"(Callie) Oh, right. Old habits die hard."

"(Callie) So, what did you learn?"
"(Tavid) The next step is to bring Gerard and Daphne back to life too."
"(Callie) But how? There are no live bodies around that look exactly like them."
"(Tavid) I know, but..."
"(Callie) Believe me, if there were a live person around Collinwood that looked like Kate Jackson, I'd have taken that body for myself!"

"(Tavid) There's a spell we can use that will actually bring their ghosts back to life in their original bodies."
"(Callie) Well, how come they didn't use that to bring us to life, instead of stealing David and Hallie's bodies."
"(Tavid) Because a live person has to do it, and none of us were alive."
"(Callie) I see. So, how does it work?"
"(Tavid) First of all, we have to get something that belongs to Gerard and Daphne."
"(Callie) Their tombstones!"
"(Tavid) Oh, go manifest yourself!"

"(Tavid) It can't be their tombstone. It has to be something portable that we can move into the house to conduct the ceremony. This model of the Java Queen belongs to Gerard. If you'll take it and draw a pentagram on the floor, I'll go get something of Daphne's out of her room."
"(Callie) What will you get?"
"(Tavid) Oh, I don't know. I'll rustle around her armoire. Check out her underwear drawer. There must be something."
"(Callie) How about it I go get it, Tad! You're getting too excited just talking about it!"

(Up in Quentin's Room, Quentin is drinking) *
* Or is it shrinking?

"(Barnabas) Quentin, we’re desperate. We feel we could loosen Gerard’s grip on this house. But not as long as you're helping Daphne!"
"(Quentin) What are you talking bout? I don’t know any Daphne!"
"(Barnabas) Don't you realize you're putting everyone in more danger by not admitting it??"
"(Quentin) What danger? For all your predictions, I've seen no sign of danger!"
"(Barnabas) Oh, come now, Quentin. We don't entirely blame you. She is attractive, and I'll bet she assured you that nothing would happen to the kids. Am I right?"
"(Quentin) Actually, no. She just nodded her head."
"(Barnabas) Ah ha!"

"(Julia) Quentin, the lives of two children are in your hands!"
"(Quentin) What are you talking about?? They ran away but they came back! David and Hallie are both fine!"
"(Barnabas) David and Hallie aren't David and Hallie! They're Carrie and Tad!"
"(Julia) Tad and Carrie."
"(Barnabas) What?"
"(Julia) David and Hallie are Tad and Carrie. If David were Carrie, and Hallie were Tad, that really would be a crisis."
"(Barnabas) All right, granted!"

"(Quentin) What are you two talking about??"
"(Barnabas) I mean, Quentin, that the children have been possessed!"
"(Quentin) That's ridiculous!"
"(Barnabas) Ridiculous?? You did it to them yourself when you were a ghost! Don't you remember? Turned David into Jamison and Amy into Nora?"
"(Quentin) All right, maybe it's possible! But just prove to me that Hallie and David aren't really Hallie and David!"
"(Barnabas) Simple! Right now "Hallie" is out trying to sell Girl Scout Cookies, while "David" is writing an essay on Good Citizenship!"
"(Quentin) My God, what have I done??"

"(Quentin) Now, she told me that no harm would come to them! She gave me her..."
"(Barnabas) Her word, Quentin?"
"(Quentin) All right. I did see her! And I want to be with her. And the thought of losing her is almost too much to take!"
"(Barnabas) Quentin, if it were just you, this wouldn't be an issue, but the children!"
"(Quentin) What you two must think of me. You trusted me, and I betrayed you."
"(Julia) Well, if it helps any, we really didn't trust you all that much!"
"(Quentin) Now you're just trying to make me feel better."

"(Quentin) You've got to believe me! I wasn't just thinking of myself. I asked! I asked her over and over again if the children were going to be safe! I believed her!"
(starts banging his head into the tabletop in anguish)
"(Barnabas) Quentin, please. Don't do that."
"(Julia) Yes, we'll be glad to do it for you."


"(Quentin) I'm a fink. And a rat. And a traitor. And a nogoodnik. And a... Feel free to jump in at any point."
"(Barnabas) No, no, you're doing fine."
"(Quentin) You've just got to understand what it was like! Daphne is the only woman I've ever really loved!"
"(Julia) Oh, now that's not true, Quentin. What about that Donna McKechnie character? You were pretty serious about her. You even went to Purgatory and back for her!"
"(Quentin) Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. Amanda... Whatshername. That's true, I loved her as much as I love Daphne."
"(Barnabas) Hmm...."

"(Barnabas) Quentin, please. It's not all your fault."
"(Julia) Of course not. These spirits have enormous power over weak minds."
"(Barnabas) But you've got to try to undo some of the harm you've done."
"(Quentin) All right. I'll try. Do you still have that handkerchief?"
"(Julia) Right here."
"(Quentin) All right. Now you two leave me alone. I give you my word I’ll do everything I can to see that Daphne never comes back."
"(Julia) Very well, we'll leave you to yourself for a bit. You guard the front door to see he doesn't get out, I'll guard the back."
"(Barnabas) Right."

(Barnabas and Julia leave)
"(Quentin) The question now, is what exactly can I do?"
(stares long and hard at the handkerchief)
"(Quentin) There's no way I could make a rope out of this thing long enough to reach the ground... If I only had some bedsheets..."

(In David's Room, the ceremony is ready to begin)
"(Callie) Are you sure this is safe??"
"(Tavid) Absolutely. The Pentagram will protect just from all evil things."
"(Tavid) You might want to change out of that lime green nightie. It's liable to dissolve completely."


"(Tavid) Okay, here's the Java Queen. Did you get an article of Daphne's clothing?"
"(Callie) Yes, I got this shawl from her dresser!"
"(Tavid) Spoilsport."
"(Callie) So, how does this ceremony work exactly."
"(Tavid) Well, there are five points to the pentagram. Gerard and Daphne's items are on two of the points. If their item comes up, they come back to life. If it hits an empty point, nothing happens."
"(Callie) So, in other words, it's sort of like Transylvanian Roulette."
"(Tavid) D'oh!"

"(Callie) Now what?"
"(Tavid) Step into the center of the Pentagram."
"(Callie) I don't want to! I'm scared!"
"(Tavid) All right, you don't have to. But anyone standing outside stands a risk of being incinerated where they stand."
"(Callie) Race you to the center!"


"(Tavid) Let's get started. Are you in?"
"(Callie) Yes, but it's no good! I'm touching the sides!"
"(Tavid) That only counts in Operation, the Goofy Game for Dopey Doctors!"

"(Callie) Okay, now what happens?"
"(Tavid) Now we just start saying the magic words."
"(Callie) Okay. Hail, hail, fire and snow! Call the angel, we must go...."
"(Tavid) Those aren't the right words!"


(In Quentin's Room)
"(Quentin) As a sign that I will destroy the bond between us that binds us together, I will destroy this handkerchief that once belonged to you. I wish I didn't have to, but you leave me no option."
(Tearily, Quentin unthinkingly blows his nose on the handkerchief)
"(Quentin) Well, one thing's for sure. At least it doesn't smell like lilac any more."

(Rather than use a fireplace or anything practical, Quentin holds the hankie over a blue candle)
"(Quentin) This once belonged to you. No longer will I be able to look upon your face. No longer shall we tryst in your bedroom, or meet secretly at the gazebo. No longer... Ow!!!"
(burns his fingers on the candle)


(In David's Room, David is still chanting)
"(Tavid) And if there be anyone who objects to the resurrection of this man, Gerard, or this woman, Daphne, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace."
"(Callie) Are you sure this is the right ceremony???"


(as the ceremony ends, David and Hallie are bathed in a pillar of flashing lights)
"(Callie) What's going on??"
"(Tavid) I don't know, but it's a special effect! It must be something important!"

(the flashing lights recede)
"(Tavid) And that's it. Let's go downstairs and see who we restored."
"(Callie) That's it? You mean all these years bringing someone back from the dead has been as easy as drawing a star on the floor, and chanting a bunch of mumbo-jumbo?"
"(Tavid) That's it. Whoever we brought back to life will be showing up at the front door soon. Just like in that story, The Monkey's Paw... Well, not just like that because they'll be alive and in perfect condition."
"(Callie) It makes all those years Barnabas spent moping over Josette seem pretty ridiculous, doesn't it?"
"(Tavid) You said it."

(In Quentin's Room)
"(Quentin) Well, I did what I could. I tried to send her away... I'll have to try something else. But it's not easy to get rid of a woman when you're Quentin Collins. Oh, why was I cursed with this fatal charm???"


(David and Hallie come down to the Foyer)
"(Callie) What if it’s Gerard? "(Tavid) Don’t worry. If it's him we've brought back, he'll be in a good mood tonight."
"(Callie) Yeah, but what about tomorrow night? Oh, let it be Daphne!"
"(Tavid) What difference does it make if it is? Either way, we'd have to bring Gerard back next. Besides, I bet Gerard would be a lot less scary as a live person than he is as a ghost."
"(Callie) You think so?"
"(Tavid) Yeah. As a live person, that sneer of his would just look like upset stomach."


"(Callie) If Daphne was here, we’d be so much more happy. This house is so different."
"(Tavid) It’s the same house we knew."
"(Callie) No. it’s so strange. So ugly. And all the people are strangers."
"(Tavid) Not all of them. There's you and me. Elizabeth looks like Flora. Carolyn looks like Leticia. Quentin looks like Quentin. Maggie looks like Samantha. Mr. Shaw looks like Gabriel. Mrs. Johnson even looks like our Mrs. Johnson."
"(Callie) I think they might actually be the same person."
"(Mrs. Johnson's Voice) I heard that!"

"(Callie) Say, speaking of Carolyn, we ought to tell her about this."
"(Tavid) About what?"
"(Callie) About this way of bringing people back from the dead. Then she could bring back her late husband Jeb and resolve her storyline too."
"(Tavid) Oh, I'm planning to tell her about it, but not right away. We'll have to negotiate a few concessions from her first."
"(Callie) Concessions?"
"(Tavid) You know. Concessions! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)"
"(Callie) I'm not sure what you mean."
"(Tavid) Let's just say I hope Carolyn knows how to do trigonometry homework."


"(Tavid) Shh."
"(Callie) What’s the matter? Do you hear something?"
"(Tavid) Footsteps! Outside!"
"(Callie) Oh, I hope it's Daphne! I hope it's Daphne!"
"(Tavid) I hope whoever it is isn't scared right back to death when that fake spider I planted drops on them out of the ceiling."
(fade to black)


"(Carolyn) Finally I get a star next to my name!"


"(Ken McEwen) And to think I thought that "Idle Hands are the Devil Tots Playthings" was just an expression."


"(Bob Lloyd) Coming up tomorrow: Kate Jackson speaks!"
"(Dan Curtis) You idiot, you gave it away!"

          Episode 1098:   The possessed children conduct a ceremony to bring Daphne and Gerard back to life.