"Jinkies Shaggy! I don't care if the Collins place IS haunted, I told you not to drive so fast getting out of there!"



Daphne Comes Back to Life!
"And to think, we had Carolyn strapped to a table in the lab, all ready to receive you."
"Thanks, but I brought my own body."


Quentin Learns The Vulcan Neck Pinch!


The Collinsport Players Do The Sound of Music!
"o/Just a spoooonful of sugahhhhhh helps the medicine... go down!/o"

Today on Dark Shadows...


Hallie Becomes a Blues Singer!


The Newly Revived Daphne Suffers an Extreme Irony!
"Zoinks! A Ghost!!"


The Collinsport Players Do Bugs Bunny Cartoons!
"Where's Rocky? Where's he hiding??"
"He's not in this stove!!"


Episode 1099

Starring Kathy Cody, David Henesy, David Selby, Nancy Barrett, Kate Jackson, John Karlen
Original Script By Sam Hall
Directed By Lela Swift
Caption Version by Graeme Cree

Read left to right, top to bottom


"My name is Quentin Collins. Tonight is the most crucial night in the history of Collinwood...."
"(Rocket J. Squirrel) Again???"


"(Quentin) Carolyn has sung her song, and Barnabas and Julia have muffed the 4th consecutive clue to the disaster that threatens the Great House. Meanwhile up in David's Room, David and Hallie have just brought somebody back from the dead."
"(Liz) I don't know if a simple grounding is going to be enough this time."


Blank:
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"(Callie) So, let me get this straight. We just brought either Gerard or Daphne back to life with that ceremony, but we don't know which?"
"(Tavid) Right."
"(Callie) And in a few minutes, one of them is going to walk through that front door and be alive again?"
"(Tavid) Right. It's kind of like The Lady or the Tiger, but in reverse."
"(Callie) The Lady or the Sneering Tiger, you mean."


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"(Tavid) That reminds me of a movie I once saw: Sneering Tiger, Hidden Dragon."
"(Callie) Don't be ridiculous! What if Gerard is out there?"
"(Tavid) Don't worry, if it is, he'll be in a good mood tonight."
"(Callie) Yeah, but if we use up his one good mood of the century tonight, where will that leave us tomorrow?"
"(Tavid) Well, even if he is in a bad mood tomorrow, he'll be mad at Mrs. Johnson instead of us, once he tastes the chow around here."
"(Mrs. Johnson's Voice) I heard that!!"


"(Callie) Oh please, let it be Daphne. We could be so happy."
"(Tavid) It’s not up to us."
"(Callie) Who is it up to?"
"(Tavid) The writers. And there's no telling what they may do."
"(Callie) So... how much?"
"(Tavid) How much what?"
"(Callie) How much you want to bet?"
"(Tavid) Oh... I'll take $2 on Daphne."
"(Callie) Done!"


(sound of approaching footsteps)
"(Callie) This is it!"
"(Tavid) The moment of truth."
"(Callie) Who do you think it is?"
THUD!!
"(Tavid) Whoever it is, they forgot they can't walk through walls any more."


(David opens the door to reveal Daphne standing on the stoop)
"(Tavid) Daphne!! Oh, thank goodness you're here! We're so glad to see you, aren't we Carrie?"
"(Callie) Miss Daphne, do you have $2 I can borrow?"
(fade to black)


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"(Tavid) Oh Daphne! Come in! Come in!"
(Daphne staggers in woozily)
"(Callie) I'm so glad you're not Gerard!"
"(Daphne) Yeah, I'm kind of pleased about it too."


(Daphne looks around the house oddly)
"(Tavid) Are you okay?"
"(Callie) Are you feeling all right?"
"(Daphne) Well, this place hasn't changed much in 130 years. They're STILL using this same old furniture?"
"(Callie) It's not ALL the same."
"(Tavid) Yeah, now the picture of Isaac Collins is over the piano instead of over the mantle."


(Daphne keeps gawking)
"(Callie) Is something wrong?"
"(Tavid) Why don't you look at us."
(Daphne looks at them, but strangely)
"(Callie) Miss Daphne? We're Tad and Carrie!"
"(Daphne) Oh! I didn't recognize you in your new bodies for a moment!"
"(Tavid) But they're exactly the same as our old bodies?"
"(Daphne) That's what threw me."


(David and Hallie lead a woozy Daphne into the Drawing Room)
"(Daphne) It's such a great feeling to be alive again! I've got two birthdays now! October 29, and now today, September 9! I'm a Scorpio AND a Virgo! I'll get twice as many presents!"
"(Tavid) She's delirious."
"(Callie) You're just mad you didn't think of that first!"


"(Tavid) We missed you so."
"(Callie) Everything’s going to be fine now that you're back."
(Hallie leads Daphne to a seat)
FART!
"(Callie) Tad! What did you put her in that chair for??"
"(Tavid) I forgot it was there! I was saving that for Barnabas!"


"(Callie) Are you all right? Are you?"
"(Daphne) Compared to the way I was, I'm doing great."
"(Tavid) Where are we going to hide her?"
"(Callie) The Playroom. Nobody can find that."
"(Tavid) We'll bring you food."
"(Daphne) Thank goodness, I haven't eaten since 1841. Do you have any Boiled Beef pie?"
"(Callie) Um... we might have to send out for that."
"(Tavid) Would you settle for a TV Dinner?"


"(Tavid) We can't keep her in the Playroom forever. We'll have to find a way to introduce her to the family."
"(Callie) Right, she'll need a back story. I know! She can be one of our cousins from England!"
"(Tavid) Oh, not England. Barnabas is using that cover story. We'll need something more suitable for a future Charlie's Angel."
"(Callie) Cousin from Malibu, then."


(Out in the Foyer, someone enters the house)
"(Tavid) Someone's coming!"
"(Callie) Quick! Hide her!"
"(Tavid) Here. Put this lampshade on your head and stand really still!"
"(Callie) Tad, wouldn't it be easier to hide her behind the drapes?"
"(Tavid) Sure, if you want to do it the easy way."


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(Hallie and David hide Daphne behind the curtains as Willie enters the room)
"(Willie) All right, what're you two kids up to??"
"(Callie) Hand it over."
"(Tavid) Here."
(David slips Hallie a bill)
"(Willie) What was that for??"
"(Tavid) Oh, I bet her $5 that you weren't going to appear onscreen in this story."


"(Willie) All right, what're you two kids up to in here?"
"(Tavid) Nothing."
"(Callie) Yeah! Nothing."
"(Willie) Don't gimme that. Old Willie Loomis, he's got a nose for trouble, and he's smellin' it right now!"
"(Tavid) Well, I'm not doing anything wrong."
"(Callie) I'm not either."
"(Voice From Behind the Drapes) Neither am I."
"(Willie) Yeah, well just watch it!"


"(Willie) Now, I heard you two talkin' before I came in here. What was it about?"
"(Tavid) Nothing, Mr. Loomis."
"(Willie) Well, la de da. "Mister" Loomis, is it? Oh my, aren't we grand, Master David? I suppose we say "tomahtoes"? And "aeroplanes"? And the rain in Spain stays mainly up there in the plane!"
"(Willie) Up there in the plane??"
"(Tavid) Shh! Don't antagonize him."

"(Willie) Now, what are you doin' down here at this hour??"
"(Tavid) All right, we heard a noise and thought it might be a prowler."
"(Willie) Oh, I see. And you came down here to investigate."
"(Callie) That's right."
"(Willie) I see. And you went to your room to get Hallie before coming down here to look. Why is that?"
"(Tavid) In case there was a prowler, she runs slower than I do."
"(Callie) Hey!"


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"(Tavid) What's the big deal? We didn't do anything wrong."
"(Willie) Barnabas told me to keep an eye on you two while I was sitting with Maggie, and Old Willie Loomis, he's going to do it!"
"(Callie) Has Old Willie Loomis always referred to himself in the Third Person?"
"(Tavid) Young David Collins has never noticed it before."


"(Willie) All right, no funny business! You two lied to me."
"(Tavid) No we didn't!"
"(Callie) We really did hear a noise down here."
"(Willie) Uh huh. That's your story now. Well, we three are going to sit in these three chairs, and we're going to stay in them until you two tell me the truth!"
FART!
"(Callie) Psst! How many of those things did you plant in here, anyway?"
"(Tavid) That wasn't a whoopee cushion, that was really him!"


(In the Study)
"(Carolyn) Everyone keeps asking me the same question over and over. When did I get my Second Sight? How come I'm the only person around here who's not allowed to develop a new talent?" *
"(Quentin) I couldn't tell you."
"(Carolyn) I mean, nobody gave you a hard time when you learned how to... to... (pause) Say, what talents do you have, Quentin?"
"(Quentin) D'oh!"
* We considered using the name Leticolyn" to refer to Carolyn-Possessed-by-Leticia, but rejected it as too silly.


"(Quentin) Carolyn, I’m perfectly willing to accept your Second Sight. In fact, maybe you could give me a demonstration."
"(Carolyn) Yeah, because you don't believe I've got it. You want me to prove myself."
"(Quentin) Is that bad? I mean, if you've got it, flaunt it."
"(Carolyn) All right, how about this? You wear polka dot shorts."
"(Quentin) Big deal, half the women in Collinsport could have told you that."


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"(Quentin) C'mon, tell me something that I don't already know."
"(Carolyn) All right. (concentrates) There's someone in this house tonight."
"(Quentin) I know that."
"(Carolyn) Someone who shouldn't be here."
"(Quentin) (Perk) Really? Who?"
"(Carolyn) I can't see her face... A woman."
"(Quentin) (eagerly) Does she smell like Lilacs??"
"(Carolyn) How should I know?? I've got Second Sight, not Second Smell!"


"(Quentin) But you do feel a presence in the house?"
"(Carolyn) Not a presence. Not a spirit. Whoever it is is alive."
"(Quentin) (disappointed) Oh."
"(Carolyn) Well, don't take it so hard, Quentin."
"(Quentin) Oh, I'm not. But if there's a stranger in this house, it could be a burglar. I'm going downstairs right now."
"(Carolyn) YOU'RE going to go confront a burglar?"
"(Quentin) No, I'm going to go tell Mrs. Johnson to do it."


(Down in the Drawing Room)
"(Tavid) Are we just going to stay here all night?"
"(Willie) Whatsa matter? Ain't I good enough company for you?"
"(Tavid) If you won't believe the truth, Mr. Loomis."
"(Willie) And knock off the "Mr. Loomis" stuff. Old Willie, he don't like that! You rich kids really make me sick, ya know that?"
"(Tavid) Sick?"
"(Willie) When I was a kid, nobody ever brought in a good looking blonde girl for me to play with! No sir, Old Willie Loomis, he had to live with his 80 year old aunt! And she wouldn't even get me a puppy!"


"(Willie) And what about you? You got any complaints?"
"(Callie) No, but how many stories have you got about gun running with Jason McGuire, anyway?"
"(Willie) Yeah, all right. You two get up to bed now!"
"(Tavid) To bed? But it's only 9 o'clock!"
"(Callie) Give me one good reason we can't stay up longer!"
"(Willie) I'll give ya five good reasons! One, two, three, four, five!"
(makes a fist)
"(Callie) (grumbling) All right... But that was a lot funnier on A Charlie Brown Christmas..."


"(Callie) All right, I'm going."
"(Willie) And you can bet your bottom dollar I'm gonna tell Barnabas about this!"
(As Willie leads David and Hallie out, David somehow sneaks back to Daphne)
"(Tavid) Stay here until I can sneak back with some clothes for you."
"(Willie) (unsuspicously) I'm waitin', David! Stop talkin' to the curtains and get out here!"


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(Willie leads the kids upstairs)
"(Tavid) You shouldn't have left Maggie alone to come pester us, you know."
"(Willie) Mrs. Johnson is sittin' up with her! Now, move it!"
"(Callie) Why does someone always have to stay with Maggie every night? "(Willie) Because she’s sick. And why am I answering your questions when you wouldn't answer mine?"
"(Tavid) Because you're stupid."
"(Willie) (not listening) Yeah, yeah, that's it."
CRASH!
"(Callie) Something tells me we should have turned off the lights AFTER going upstairs."


(After the others go upstairs, Daphne comes out of hiding)
"(Daphne) A half hour behind those curtains and I couldn't think of anything except how I haven't been to the bathroom since 1840... I wonder if it's inside the house now?"


Blank:
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(Daphne hears approaching voices)
"(Quentin) Can't you give me an idea where the stranger is?"
"(Carolyn) This way."
"(Daphne) Oh no!!!"
(Daphne ducks out of sight again)*
* Fortunately, her dress matches the drapes.


(Out in the Foyer)
"(Carolyn) Well, Mrs. Johnson wouldn't leave Maggie to hunt for prowlers."
"(Quentin) Don't worry, I'll help you look. But where would she hide in the Drawing Room? I know! Behind the drapes."
"(Carolyn) Oh no, no. She wouldn't hide there. It's too obvious."
"(Quentin) Well, maybe she's going more for concealment than for making an artistic statement."


Blank:
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(they search the Drawing Room)
"(Quentin) No sign of her. But you said you felt her in here?"
"(Carolyn) I couldn't tell exactly. But wait a minute. Sniff, sniff. I'm getting something."
"(Quentin) Lilacs??"
"(Carolyn) Not Lilacs, something else. Phew, Willie Loomis didn't just come through here, did he?"


"(Carolyn) I think you have an idea about who the stranger is, Quentin?"
"(Quentin) That's ridiculous. If I know who the stranger was, it wouldn't be a stranger."
"(Daphne) (behind the curtain) I have GOT to get out of here and go to the bathroom so bad!!"
"(Quentin) Say, as long as we're here, have you ever seen my vacation slides of Niagara Falls?"
"(Daphne) D'oh!"


Blank:
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"(Quentin) Carolyn, do you feel anyone here now?"
"(Carolyn) Well... the person has been here within the hour."
(Quentin checks out the drapes, but looks behind only one drape, and picks the wrong one)
"(Quentin) Nope, nothing here." *
"(Voice Behind the Drapes) Ah-choo!"
"(Quentin) Gesundheit, Carolyn."
"(Carolyn) Thanks."
* Science is still working on developing a task so simple that even Quentin cannot screw it up.


"(Quentin) Well, there's certainly nobody here. Why don't we go check out the rest of the house?"
"(Carolyn) I still can't believe you're not afraid to go looking for a possible prowler, Quentin."
"(Quentin) What do you mean afraid? When there's a threat to this house, Quentin Collins is always ready to... er, you do run slower than I do, don't you?"
"(Carolyn) What?"
"(Quentin) Nothing. Nothing."


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(After they leave, Daphne comes out from behind the drapes)
"(Daphne) If I have to hide back there one more time, I'm killing myself!... AGAIN!"


(As Quentin returns, Daphne hides again, but behind a wooden partition this time)
"(Daphne) At least this way I'm getting closer to the door.... Oh, I'm not used to this!! When I was a ghost, I could just disappear!"


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"(Quentin) Daphne? I got away from Carolyn? Are you the stranger? No, you can't be. Carolyn said the stranger was alive. Oh, how I wish that was you. How I wish we could meet... Could touch... Could get together in the hot tub, and..."
"(Mrs. Johnson's Voice) I heard that!!"
"(Quentin) I wasn't talking about you, Mrs. Johnson!"
"(Mrs. Johnson's Voice) No matter, I still heard it!"


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"(Quentin) (more softly) Think what it would be like if we could be together! You wouldn't bother the children any more. You'd only have thoughts for me. We'd make Ryan O'Neal and Ali McGraw look like a couple of monks!"
(Daphne steps out from behind the partition)
"(Quentin) Daphne!! But how??? You were dead!"
"(Daphne) I... got better."


"(Quentin) Oh Daphne, Daphne, Daphne! It's you! You're really here! And we're together! And we're going to be so happy!"
"(Daphne) Oof! Take it easy, Quentin. Don't forget, I need oxygen now."


"(Daphne) Quentin, please let me go."
"(Quentin) No!"
"(Daphne) You must."
"(Quentin) Never!... Well, not never. Sorry, I didn't mean to be so dogmatic there. I only mean that we must never be separated for long. Of course I'll let you go to eat dinner and go to the bathroom and stuff."
"(Daphne) Uh yeah, actually I wish you hadn't mentioned that last one."


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"(Quentin) I must be dreaming. Here I thought Carolyn meant your spirit was in this room, when really you were here in the flesh... And WHAT flesh!"
"(Daphne) Don't you even want to know how I'm here?"
"(Quentin) Who cares? I've got the jacuzzi all heated up! Let's go!"
"(Daphne) You know, this is either the great part about you, or the infuriating part. I've never been sure which."


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"(Quentin) What's the big mystery? I assume that somebody did some kind of mumbo-jumbo or other and brought you back to life,."
"(Daphne) That's basically right."
"(Quentin) So, now that you're here, let's make sweet, sweet love!"
"(Daphne) I... want to, but we... can't."
"(Quentin) After finally finding you? Why not?"
"(Daphne) Quentin, you mustn't ask questions. This is why I tried to hide from you. I can't give you any answers."
"(Quentin) Look, I don't care about any of that!... I mean, even if you turn into a pumpkin at midnight, that still gives us a half hour together!"
"(Daphne) Quentin, will you be serious?? There are problems in life that can't be solved with a quick roll in the hay!"
"(Quentin) Yeah, I've heard that rumor too."


"(Quentin) All right. All right, I can accept that. But if we can't be together, can we at least shake hands?"
"(Daphne) Well... I guess there's no harm in that."
(one massive liplock later)
"(Daphne) How did we get from a handshake to that??"
"(Quentin) Some people call me Mr. Smooth."


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"(Quentin) Now tell me, why you came back here if not for me. Was it for the children?"
"(Daphne) Well... sort of..."
"(Quentin) It's all right, if you can't tell me anything, let's just use body language!"
"(Willie's voice) Quentin? Quentin, are you down there?"
"(Quentin) Pardon me, I've just got to go kill somebody."


Blank:
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(Quentin dashes out of the Drawing Room, and shuts the doors as Willie appears on the Foyer stairs)
"(Willie) Who were you talking to in there, Quentin??"
"(Quentin) Me? Um, nobody."
"(Willie) Go on, I heard yer voice!"
"(Quentin) Oh, well I was talking to... myself."
"(Willie) Sounded like one of the voices was a lady."
"(Quentin) Yeah, well I had a frog in my throat."


"(Willie) You're a weird, guy. You know that?"
"(Quentin) From you I'll take that as a compliment."
"(Willie) Yeah, well, stand aside, I wanna go in the Drawing Room."
"(Quentin) The Drawing Room? What do you need to go in there for?"
"(Willie) Oh, don't worry, Quentin. I ain't gonna drink yer brandy... I prefer Thunderbird, anyway."


"(Willie) Something strange is going on in this house. You know, Old Willie Loomis ain't as dumb as he looks!"
"(Quentin) He couldn't be."
"(Willie) Don't try to butter me up. Why don't you want me in that room?"
"(Quentin) Listen. Has Barnabas put you in charge of Collinwood?"
"(Willie) You know Barnabas wouldn't trust me to open a can of beans that was already open."
"(Quentin) Well then, I wish you'd stop acting like the Lard of the Manor. Now, get lost."
"(Willie) All right, I'll go. But I'm tellin' Barnabas about the weird things goin' on around here."
"(Quentin) Oh well, if you see him, can you tell him I gave you something?"
"(Willie) What?"
"(Quentin) This!"
WEDGIE!
"(Willie) Owie, owie, ow!!" *
* Willie's Wedgies used to be a running gag around here, as a counterpoint to the brutal canings Barnabas sometimes gave him in the actual show.


Blank:
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(After Willie leaves, Quentin goes back into the Drawing Room)
"(Quentin) Now, where were we? Oh yes! Artificial Resuscitation."
"(Daphne) Please don’t, you mustn’t even think of me."
"(Quentin) I think of nothing else! How can you get around without my help? You don't even have any 20th century clothes."
"(Daphne) Well, that would be a help, I admit. Can you get some?"
"(Quentin) Absolutely. What size nightie do you wear?"


"(Daphne) Quentin, acquiring a 20th century nightie wasn't exactly at the top of my Things To Do list! I've got to go to the children!"
"(Quentin) To end their possession?"
"(Daphne) I can't do that. You wouldn't believe the trouble I'd get in if I tried."
"(Quentin) Well, you wouldn't believe the trouble I'm in with Barnabas and Julia for helping you!"
"(Daphne) It's not just the trouble. I OWE Tad and Carrie! I can't just banish them back to the Spirit Realm! Why, Tad and Carrie brought me back from the DEAD yesterday!"
"(Quentin) Yeah, but what have they done for you lately?"


"(Quentin) Daphne, the children cannot remain as they are."
"(Daphne) Why not?"
"(Quentin) Well, because... because... Oooh..."
"(Daphne) Look, let me go up and talk to them."
"(Quentin) I'll go with you."
"(Daphne) No. I must go alone."
"(Quentin) Alone!? All right, on your head be it."
"(Daphne) Be what?"
"(Quentin) That bucket of water David keeps propped over his door."


(Up in David's Room, Hallie enters with an armload of clothes)
"(Callie) I found these in in an old trunk. They belonged to one of your old governesses."
"(Tavid) Old governess?"
"(Callie) Her name is Victoria... at least according to the name tag."
"(Tavid) Oh, that was Miss Winters. She left here about two years ago."
"(Callie) Why didn't she take these clothes with her? Some of them are pretty nice."
"(Tavid) Well, when she left, she went to the 18th century."
"(Callie) The 18th century?? What did she go there for?"
"(Tavid) I'm not sure. Tax purposes, I think."


"(Callie) Well, you could wear some of these in the 18th century. Of course you might have to sew a big red "A" on some of them."
"(Tavid) Did you happen to see a big red bag dress with black racing stripes down the sides? Miss Winters wore that a lot."
"(Callie) That horrible thing? I was afraid to touch it! A lot of these other things are pretty stylish. How could your governess have worn that red monstrosity?"
"(Tavid) I'm not sure. I think it didn't look quite as bad before the show went to color."


(Daphne enters)
"(Callie) Daphne!"
"(Tavid) Did anyone see you come up?"
"(Daphne) Quick! We've got very little time."
(she looks out the window and checks the stars)
"(Daphne) Yep, they're still there."
"(Tavid) Wow, she's thorough!"


"(Callie) What are we doing?"
"(Daphne) We must bring Gerard back tonight."
"(Callie) Oh, must we? We could be so happy without him!"
"(Daphne) Tad! Get the chalk!"
"(Callie) Gee, you usually draw a chalk outline for someone who's just died, not someone who's coming back."


(Down in the Drawing Room)
"(Carolyn) Terrible things are happening tonight."
"(Quentin) Knock it off. We searched and found no stranger."
"(Carolyn) We found no stranger because we were blind!"
"(Quentin) (agitated) Will you stop it??"
"(Carolyn) You know who it is, don't you?"
"(Quentin) That's ridiculous! I don't have to stand for these accusations! I'm leaving!"
(storms out)
"(Carolyn) Don't be a stranger!"
"(Quentin's Voice) D'oh!"


Blank:
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(Up in David's Room, the ceremony is about to begin)
"(Callie) How does anybody freehand a perfect pentagram?"
"(Tavid) Around here you get a lot of practice."


Blank:
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"(Daphne) All right, everybody in the pentagram."
"(Callie) Why do we have to bring Gerard back, Miss Daphne?"
"(Daphne) Because if we don't, as a ghost, he can appear behind our back anytime, anywhere."
"(Callie) All right, everybody! Into the pentagram!"


"(Daphne) Okay, we've got Gerard's model on one point, his watch fob on another, his diary on a third, and a pair of his shoes on the last two points. No matter where the spinner stops, it'll come up Gerard."
(begins chanting)
"(Daphne) Feel the earth turning through eternal space...."
"(Tavid) Let it turn itself now toward the stars that guide the destinies of us all..."
"(Callie) Let the light of the star that guides the destiny of Gerard Stiles touch this flame..."
"(Tavid) Burma Shave!"
"(Daphne and Hallie) TAD!!"


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"(Daphne) Let the light of the star that guides the destiny of Gerard Stiles touch the flame that we have lighted in this room..."
"(Callie) Psst! Which star guides Gerard's destiny?"
"(Tavid) I bet it's the Dog Star!"
"(Callie) Are you Sirius??"


(the room is flooded with Theremin music)
"(Callie) Something's happening! It's working!"
"(Tavid) Miss Daphne! If this works, I've prepared a list of other people I'd like to bring back too."
"(Callie) Let me see this. (reads) Babe Ruth... Martin Luther King... Humphrey Bogart... James DEAN??? Look here, young man, you can bring back ONE of these people, and be happy with that!"
(fade to black)


"(Quentin) Whatever you're doing, hurry up, Daphne! My hot tub's getting cold!"


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"(Willie) Old Willie Loomis, he knows there's something going on in this house, and he's gonna find out what it is, yesiree Bob!"
"(Bob Lloyd) You talking to me?"


"(Carrie) I'm forming a nightclub act with Johnny Cash."
(silence)
"(Carrie) Aren't you going to ask what it's called?"
"(Tad) Not in a million years."


"(Dan Curtis) One thing's for sure. If we ever decide to recast the Victoria Winters character again, we've got the perfect actress right here."
"(Bob Lloyd) The only problem is we'd have to get rid of the Daphne character first."
"(Dan Curtis) You're right. Hey Daphne! Go play in traffic!"


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          Episode 1099:   The living Daphne arrives and informs Quentin she is mortal now, but promises no harm will come to the children.