The Collinsport Players Do Star Trek!
"Why do I have to be the one to go on the suicide mission?"
"Because you're wearing the red uniform, Ensign."

Special Guest Star: The Lord of the Nazgul!

Tad and Carrie Find One of the Mystery Vampire's Empties!
"Help me get him to the 7-11. We can get a nickel deposit on him there."

Today on Dark Shadows...

Quentin Learns the Vulcan Nerve Pinch!

Tad and Carrie Face Justice!
"That's weird. I just had the strangest feeling, like the spirit of David was trying to posses me!"
"That's odd, I feel like the spirit of Hallie is trying to possess me!"
"The irony of this is just sickening."

Quentin Pushes the Envelope!
"There are only two clues left."
"And you've muffed the first four!"
"Quentin... The Night Quentin Got a Fat Lip may not be one of the clues... But it could be!"

Episode 1103

Starring Kathy Cody, David Henesy, Grayson Hall, David Selby, Kate Jackson
Original Script By Gordon Russell
Directed By Lela Swift
Caption Version by Graeme Cree

Read left to right, top to bottom

"My name is Quentin Collins. Collinwood as it looks in September, 1970. Barnabas Collins and Julia Hoffman are still searching desperately for a way to avert the catastrophe that threatens to destroy the Great House this year, and are determined to keep looking, if it takes them the next six months."
"(Julia) I can last that long, but I'm not sure 1970 can."


"(Quentin) On this night, they have removed David and Hallie, now possessed by the spirits of Tad and Carrie, from Collinwood to the sanitarium at Wyndcliffe. Daphne has followed them there to attempt once more the ceremony that will bring Gerard back to life."
"(Charlie) Angels, you're going to go undercover in the loony bin!"

(In the Totally Cuckoo Ward of Wyndcliffe, Quentin is stalling for time...)
"(Quentin) Something wrong?"
"(Julia) I thought I heard something from David's room."
"(Quentin) Ridiculous. I told you that David is asleep."
(blocks the doorway with his arm)
"(Julia) Well, I'd better just check."
(slips under his arm and goes inside)
"(Quentin) There are some days it's no fun being tall..."

(In David's cell, he and Daphne are inside a pentagram chanting)
"(Daphne) As the stars twinkle, as the moon revolves, as the world turns..." *
"(Julia) Gasp! Daphne!! "(David) (bluffing) Uh... You're right, it's a ghost! Run!"
"(Julia) Don't be ridiculous, David, this isn't a ghost!"
"(David) Of course she is, everybody knows that."
"(Julia) Look at her! She's got all the classic symptoms of life: respiration, heartbeat, blood pressure..."
"(David) Are you going to run or aren't you??"
* Hey! No mentioning other shows here!




"(Daphne) You must get out of this room!"
"(Julia) Here, Quentin. Hold David... Wait a minute, what am I trusting you for?"
"(David) Let go of me! Nothing's going on in here! I'm just trying to get some sleep! I..."
"(Quentin) David, now listen. It’s no use now. One thing I've learned in life is to always tell the truth... After you're caught, that is."

"(Julia) Daphne, you’re alive!"
"(Daphne) So? So are you!"
"(Julia) But you were dead before! How is this possible??"
"(Daphne) You wouldn't understand even if I told you."
"(Julia) Hey, that's MY line."

"(Julia) I’ve got to know how this happened to you. Gerard? Is he alive too?"
"(Daphne) No, he’s not alive. Quentin, please try to make her understand."
"(Quentin) How can I? You forgot to make ME understand, remember? I'm helping you on spec."
"(Daphne) Oh, that's right. Any chance she'd help me on blind faith too?"
"(Quentin) I doubt it. That's the way Julia usually asks me to help her!"

"(Julia) You! You knew she was in here and tried to keep me out!"
"(Quentin) Only so that she could save the children! You admitted you didn't know what to do."
"(Julia) I need to talk to Daphne alone. Take David out of here. And stay out of trouble!"
"(David) No, please!"
"(Quentin) Come on, David. I'll show you how to get a free soda out of the Coke machine."
"(Julia) D'oh!"

(Quentin and David leave)
"(Julia) Now, Who’s responsible for bringing you back to life?"
"(Daphne) What do you mean "back to life"? I've always been alive."
"(Julia) Oh, really? Well, I happen to know that Daphne Harridge was born in 1811. Now, if you've never been dead, that would make you... uh..."
(counts on her fingers)
"(Julia) My goodness! You'd be older than me!"
"(Daphne) Okay, but how did you know I was Daphne Harridge? I've never spooked you before..."
"(Julia) You wouldn't understand even if I told you."
"(Daphne) D'oh!"


"(Julia) I know a great deal more than you think I do."
"(Daphne) How?"
"(Julia) You wouldn't..."
"(Daphne) ...Understand even if you told me. You're right, this is your line. I just borrowed it for a while."


"(Julia) Are you going to answer my questions?"
"(Daphne) I'd rather talk to an attorney first, if they still have them in this crazi, mixed-up time."
"(Julia) Unless something is done to stop Gerard, Collinwood will be in ruins, the family will disappear, and the children will die."
"(Daphne) None of that is going to happen! If you'll just leave me alone with the children tonight, Gerard will be a living, unemployed slob who doesn't pose a danger to anyone!"
"(Julia) Yes, but they'd still be Tad and Carrie. I need David and Hallie back!"
"(Daphne) Can't we compromise? Now, look. David, I can understand. But Hallie's character is so new, and Carrie's so undeveloped, that aren't they really interchangeable at this point?"
"(Julia) I'm sure there's something wrong with that... Let me think about it for a minute."

"(Daphne) In any case, I'm afraid I don't have any power to bring David and Hallie back."
"(Julia) Well, I'm sure you can help us somehow. Now, I want you to come back to the Old House with me."
"(Daphne) Why? To talk to Barnabas?"
"(Daphne) That and the fact that they threw this Wyndcliffe set together in a hurry. This room and the corridor are all there is."

"(Daphne) If I come with you, what happens to the children?"
"(Julia) They'll stay here in complete safety."
"(Daphne) From everything except Gerard!"
"(Julia) If you'll tell us what you know, maybe we can find a way of fighting Gerard! Why won't you help us?"
"(Daphne) All right, have it your way. The kids brought me back to life with a Super-Duper Anti-Being Dead spell. To protect them, I was trying to work a Super-Duper Anti-Being-Screwed-Over-by-Gerard spell on them. Now do you see why some of this stuff is better left to the imagination?"


(As Julia and Daphne leave the room, Daphne knocks over a candle, which would have burned down the entire Wyndcliffe set if a stagehand hadn't helpfully intervened)

(Later, on the back of a nickel...)

(At the Old House, Daphne sits in front of the fire)
"(Daphne) Funny, ever since I started wearing these 20th century clothes, I'm always so cold!"

(Quentin comes up and gets handsy)
"(Quentin) Hey. You really hate being here, don’t you?"
"(Daphne) I just don’t see what good can come of it."
"(Quentin) Why don't we discuss that over a quick roll in the hay?"
"(Daphne) Oh no, not in this dress. That stuff sticks to this material like anything."
"(Quentin) Sigh, I can see our idioms are a century apart..."

"(Daphne) Couldn’t you have stopped Dr. Hoffman from bringing me here?"
"(Quentin) You've got to learn to trust her. She knows what she's talking about."
"(Daphne) But she said that she didn't."
"(Quentin) Oh. Well, she will know what she's talking about if you cooperate with her."
"(Daphne) But she doesn't now?"
"(Quentin) You're looking at this the wrong way. Like, to you the glass is half empty, when it's really half full. And speaking of that..."
(pours a brandy)

"(Daphne) My place is with Tad and Carrie."
"(Quentin) What about Gerard? Isn't it your big plan to bring him back to life?"
"(Daphne) I'm not so sure that would be a good idea at all."
"(Quentin) Well, good. Because three's a crowd. Know what I mean? (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)."
"(Daphne) Boy, it really is "Any Time Any Place" with you, isn't it? Are all 20th century men like you?"
"(Quentin) Oh noooo, I'm one of a kind!"

(Julia enters)
"(Julia) Well, it sounds like you’re making sense. At least as far as not bringing Gerard back goes. How are you today, Daphne?"
"(Daphne) Alive. I haven't been so long that I've stopped appreciating it yet."


"(Quentin) Daphne is worried about what might happen to the children. And I sort of agree with her."
"(Julia) Oh, you agree with anybody in a short skirt, Quentin."
"(Quentin) Yeah, well this time I would even if I was being honest!"
"(Julia) Well, Barnabas will be here tonight and then we can make some plans."
"(Daphne) Where is Barnabas anyway, that he'd be gone at as important a time as this?"
"(Julia) Uh, he's..."
"(Quentin) Paying off a loan shark!"
"(Julia) (simultaneously) Taking a basket of goodies to Grandma!"
"(Julia) No, wait! He's got business in Bangor! I remember the story now."
(Daphne looks dubious)
"(Julia) What's wrong with that?? Geez, some people are so suspicious!"

"(Quentin) Are we going to just twiddle our thumbs all day then?"
"(Julia) No, this afternoon, let's get Stokes over here."
"(Quentin) Yeah, good idea, maybe he can solve the whole thing by making an anagram of her name, like he did with that Leona Eltridge person." *
"(Julia) Don't be ridiculous, Quentin. I'm sure he can contribute something more useful than that."
"(Quentin) Well, if he can't, at least we'll have a 4th for Bridge until Barnabas arrives."
* Episode 595, not that Quentin was there to remember it.

"(Quentin) Well, I'll go to Collinwood and call him, since Barnabas is too cheap to have a phone put in here."
"(Julia) It's not cheapness, it's authenticity! He wants this house like it was in the 18th century."
"(Quentin) Whatever. So will Stokes be at home, or at the University?"
"(Julia) I don't know. Better try both. Say! I just remembered something. Stokes told us in 1995 that he'd gone to Europe before the disaster. But then I guess there's no chance that he'd go off without telling us."
"(Quentin) What are you doing??"
"(Julia) It's called foreshadowing."
"(Quentin) It's called In Your Face Foreshadowing!"

(At Wyndcliffe, David and Hallie are pondering their situation)
"(Hallie) What are we going to do, Tad? We can't bring Gerard back without Daphne. And if we don't, then Gerard will kill us, and then Daphne won't be able to bring us back without us!"
"(David) Good news."
"(Hallie) What?"
"(David) You're starting to fit into this place."
"(Hallie) D'oh!"

"(Hallie) But where have they taken Daphne? And how long are they going to keep us here?"
"(David) I don’t know. I think they think we'll be safe from Gerard here. That's a laugh. You've heard of The Long Arm of the Law? Gerard's is even longer."

"(Hallie) Boy, this has turned into such a mess. I thought that when we came back to life all our problems would be solved. But all it's been has been one headache after another. If I'd known that being alive now was such a problem, I'd have just stayed dead."
"(David) Me too. I guess I never really appreciated being dead until now."
"(Hallie) Yeah. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the... er, fence."


"(Hallie) I've already had one funeral, and I don't feel like having another. But what hope is there?"
"(David) No hope as long as we stay here! There's only one thing to do. We have to escape from Wyndcliffe!"
"(Hallie) Escape? How?"
"(David) Don't worry. I carved this gun out of a bar of soap."
(holds up a teensy-weensy gun)
"(Hallie) What happened to it???"
"(David) Well, I had to wash my hands first, didn't I??"


(Back at the Old House)
"(Julia) There’s so much you could tell me if you were only willing. Why don’t you trust me?"
"(Daphne) Oh, I dunno. Why don't you trust ME enough to tell me where Barnabas is right now?"
"(Julia) You know, you're smart. You're the first one to ask that question... I've put even Professor Stokes off for the last 3 years with promises to explain later."

"(Daphne) I’m sure you mean well. It isn’t a matter of trusting you."
"(Julia) Well, what is it?"
"(Daphne) It's sort of a matter of whether you can contribute anything."
"(Julia) Are you questioning my competence now??"
"(Daphne) Well, from what Quentin says, you somehow had six major clues in advance about what was going to happen, and didn't benefit from them at all."
"(Julia) That's not my fault! They were gibberish clues!"
"(Daphne) There's also the fact that Gerard is powerful enough to squash you like a bug if you learn too much."
"(Julia) That's a good point. Whatever you know, maybe you'd better tell it to Willie first."


"(Julia) Were you ever in love with Gerard?"
"(Daphne) I beg your pardon! Pardon me, Dr. Hoffman, but I don't see that my personal life is any of your concern."
"(Julia) I just want to know if you're going to backstab us if we let you help us."
"(Daphne) Oh, well that's different... Hey!"

(Meanwhile, in the woods)
"(David) Didn't we pass that tree a half hour ago?"
"(Hallie) I think so, but I can't tell if that means it's the same tree or just the same soundstage."
"(David) Do you see any moss?"
"(Hallie) Why?"
"(David) Because moss always grows on the north side of a tree... or is it the south?"
"(Hallie) Something tells me that leaving the main road was a mistake."
"(David) There's the moon. Isn't it always over Hollywood, or something?"

"(David) At least we’re safe now."
"(Hallie) Are we? Out here in the woods without so much as a Mars bar between us? I wonder if anyone from Wyndcliffe will be sending out a search party after us."
"(David) I don't think so. The only person who saw us leave was Miss Jackson, and she didn't sound the alarm."
"(Hallie) Well, how could she after you tied her to that chair??"

"(Hallie) Well, I vote that we head back to the main road, and try to hitch a ride back to Collinsport."
"(David) I tried to thumb us a ride for over and hour and didn't get so much as a nibble."
"(Hallie) Well, how about you let me try this time?"
"(David) You? How could you get us a ride when I failed?"
"(Hallie) Let's just say I have my own system."
"(David) System?"
"(Hallie) Yeah, I saw it in a Clark Gable movie, and I know it works." *
* You're really going to need to click the link to get this one.

(Back at the Old House)
"(Julia) Tell me, do you think that Quentin is the reincarnation of the Quentin Collins who lived in 1840?"
"(Daphne) I don't know. They look and sound exactly alike, but from what I hear, that's a pretty common thing around these parts."
"(Julia) Well, were you in love with the Quentin Collins of 1840?"
"(Daphne) You sure do ask a lot of questions about my Love Life, Doctor."
"(Julia) Well, let's be fair about it, then. I'll tell you about mine, if you tell me about yours."
"(Daphne) Ha! You're not going to catch me with a trick like that!"
"(Julia) D'oh!"


"(Julia) Well, at least tell me what the original Quentin was like."
"(Daphne) Well, he was one of Daniel Collins' sons."
"(Julia) Oh yes, I've heard of him. Are the two of them alike?"
"(Daphne) Not really. The Quentin of 1840 was bad tempered, mercurial, subject to wild mood swings, and treated women like dirt. This Quentin is so different."
"(Julia) Er, yes. Well, ahem, I'm afraid you may be in for a big disappointment if you stay around here much longer..."

"(Daphne) Who do I look like?"
"(Julia) Pardon?"
"(Daphne) Well, from what I've seen, everyone around here seems to look like somebody who lived in another century. Who in the Collins family, past or present, do I resemble?"
"(Julia) Oddly enough, nobody at all. Until we got back from Parallel Time, we'd never seen your face around here before. Well, except for David's first governess, Victoria Winters."
"(Daphne) I look like her?"
"(Julia) Well... Not yet."
"(Daphne) What do you mean "not yet"?"
"(Julia) She had three faces during her run, and if they ever recast her again, you're bound to get the part."


(Quentin enters)
"(Julia) Well? Did you find Stokes?"
"(Quentin) No, but I spoke to his housekeeper."
"(Julia) Well then, what's wrong? From the look on your face, you look like somebody has been feeding you rock candy with a slingshot... Don't tell me that Stokes went to Europe!!"
"(Quentin) No, no, of course not. Don't panic."
"(Julia) Thank goodness."
"(Quentin) His housekeeper said he went to some place called Luxembourg."
"(Julia) D'oh!!"

"(Julia) Quentin, Luxembourg IS in Europe!"
"(Quentin) Really? Well, in that case, you can panic."
"(Julia) Well... maybe not. He knew how important this was to us. Maybe it's just a very brief trip and he's coming right back."
"(Quentin) I don't think so. His cheese collection and spare monocle were gone too."

"(Julia) If you're tired, you might as well lie down, Daphne. There's a bed in Josette's Room you can use."
"(Daphne) Thanks."
"(Julia) Wait a minute. Did you say housekeeper, Quentin?"
"(Quentin) Yes."
"(Julia) Strange. I didn't know Stokes had a housekeeper."
"(Quentin) Sure he does. Big tall guy in a green sweater. Lots of scars on his face."
"(Julia) So that's what happened to Adam!" *
* Dark Shadows' cut rate version of Frankenstein's Monster. See The Adam Story, Episodes 461-626.


(In Eagle Hill Cemetery)
"(Hallie) Wonderful. That truck driver gave us a lift to the Collinsport City Limits and then dumped us off right outside a cemetery."
"(David) You know, they say we kids cause trouble, but most of the bad things that happen to us are caused by adults."
"(Hallie) Tell me about it!"
"(David) I remember in the old days, Cousin Desmond would come see me at bedtime, and he'd always say "Now, be a good boy, Tad, and don't stick beans in your ears"."
"(Hallie) Oh no..."
"(David) In a million years, it would never have occurred to me to stick beans in my ears!!"
"(Hallie) But once you've got the idea in your head..."
"(David) Right. It took the doctor an hour to get the darn thing out."

"(David) I guess it's okay. We can cut through here to get to Collinwood."
"(Hallie) Cut through a cemetary??"
"(David) Not cemetary. Cemetery. With an e, not an a."
"(Hallie) I'm always getting that wrong."
"(David) It's easy to remember. Just think "Don't tarry in the cemetery"."
"(Hallie) Great idea! Let's run!"

(they enter an Abandoned Mausoleum) *
"(Hallie) What are we coming in here for??"
"(David) We don't want anyone seeing us, and we need a place to rest."
"(Hallie) THAT kind of rest I don't need!"
"(David) I know it's weird, but after being dead so long, I have a hard time getting to sleep anywhere else!"
* Technically speaking, aren't ALL mausoleums "abandoned"?

"(Hallie) Zoinks! A coffin!"
"(David) Well, of course it's a coffin. This is a mausoleum! What did you expect? A buffet table?"
"(Hallie) I know it's a mausoleum, but what's it doing lying out in the open? Aren't these things supposed to be buried, or on a shelf or something?"
"(David) There's a tag on this thing! It says "743.84". I wonder what that means?"
"(Hallie) It means that the caretaker here doesn't know diddly about the Dewey Decimal System. That's supposed to be for Arts & Recreation!"

"(Hallie) Zoinks!!!"
"(David) Are you going to keep doing that?"
"(Hallie) But the coffin is o-o-opening!!"
"(David) Now, THAT is a situation that calls for a "Zoinks"!"


(As David and Hallie hide behind a pillar, a shadowy figure in a black cloak gets out of the coffin, yawns, scratches, belches, and staggers out of the mausoleum blearily)
"(David) Now, what do you make of that???"
"(Hallie) How long would you hate me if I said that somebody was working the Graveyard Shift?"

"(Hallie) What just happened here, Tad??? Did we just see somebody rising from the dead??"
"(David) What's the big deal? Did you think we had a monopoly on it or something?"
"(Hallie) I don't know, but one thing I do know! I want to stay in a Holiday Inn tonight!"


(After waiting long enough for the shadowy figure to leave, David and Hallie leave the Mausoleum * and continue their journey)
* By the way, you can forget what we said earlier about all mausoleums being abandoned.


(Later in the woods, Hallie gasps in fear yet again)
"(Hallie) Zoinks!!"
"(David) Geez, this has been a three Zoinks trip already! You'd better have a good reason this time!"
"(Hallie) Would a dead man on the path right in front of us be a good enough reason for you??"
"(David) Er... Yeah, yeah, that's good... I mean not for him, of course, but you know what I mean."

(David bends down to check the body)
"(Hallie) Who is it?"
"(David) I think it's Mr. Baxter, the Stage Manager!"
"(Hallie) No, I don't mean who's playing the role, I mean who is it really??"
"(David) Oh! I don't know, it's nobody I've ever seen before. But he's lying here with a look of ashen horror etched across his features, a pasty white pallor as though all the blood had been drained out of his body and a little of trickle of blood coming from two holes in his neck."
"(Hallie) Hmm. Do you notice anything unusual about him?"

"(David) You don't find this unusual?"
"(Hallie) Think back, Tad! Do you remember?? We saw this exact same thing happen back in 1840. People with holes in their neck and no blood! Remember?"
"(David) Yeah, I remember. And nobody could ever figure out what had caused it, remember?"
"(Hallie) Cousin Gabriel once told me he knew what it was, but I think he was just pulling my leg."
"(David) What did he say it was?"
"(Hallie) No, no, it's too stupid to repeat."
"(David) No it's not! Anything might be useful!"
"(Hallie) He said we had a really BAD mosquito problem."
"(David) You're right, it's too stupid to repeat."

(Back at the Old House, Julia has whipped out her trusty Hypnotizing Medallion) *
* Previously used to wipe Maggie's memory of her kidnapping, to try to make Willie forget the Dream Curse, and to help Mrs. Johnson quit smoking, albeit at the cost of her now quacking like a duck whenever she hears a bell ring.


"(Julia) Oh Daphne, I’ve been trying to identify this artifact. I wonder if you might help me."
"(Daphne) Artifact?"
"(Julia) This medallion. I wonder if you might have seen it in 1840."
"(Daphne) Well, I doubt I saw it back then. It says "Made in Japan" on the back."

(Julia starts swinging the medallion in front of Daphne's face)
"(Julia) How would you like to play one of my favorite games?"
"(Daphne) What kind of game?"
"(Julia) See how it sparkles and shines? I'm going to swing this in front of you, and you see if you can find the exact center of the light."
(Daphne grabs it and holds it still)
"(Daphne) Right there!"
"(Julia) D'oh!"

"(Julia) The object is to spot the center without touching it."
"(Daphne) Oh, you should have said."
"(Julia) Keep looking at the light. Concentrate on it. Keep looking deeper and deeper. See if you can find the center of the light."
"(Daphne) Julia, are you trying to hypnotize me? Because if you are, I warn you, I am completely immune to.... Zzzzzzzz...."


"(Julia) Keep staring, Daphne."
"(Daphne) I... stare."
"(Julia) Are you in my power now?"
"(Daphne) I am in your power... Mustard."
"(Julia) That's Master, but let it go."
"(Daphne) Yes... Master. I will do your bidding... Master."
"(Julia) (to herself) I wonder why I never thought of using this thing on Barnabas?"


"(Daphne) Would you like me to take off all my clothes and dance around the room?"
"(Julia) That won't be necessary. I just want you to answer some questions." *
* Be glad this is the TV Show, and not some tawdry fan fiction, where the answer would have been Yes.


"(Daphne) What was that? Master?"
"(Julia) Some questions! I said I want you to answer some questions!"
"(Daphne) 1492. Plymouth Rock. Grant's Tomb. 54/40 or Fight..."
"(Julia) I'll decide what the questions are, if it's all the same to you!"


"(Daphne) Sorry... Master."
"(Julia) Good. Then you will answer all my questions."
"(Daphne) Was that a question?"
"(Julia) Of course that wasn't a question! That was an order!"
"(Daphne) Yes. Yes, I will answer. "(Julia) Now concentrate on the events that are destined to take place before the disaster at Collinwood. There are two remaining clues: The Night Rose Cottage Was Destroyed, and The Murder."
"(Daphne) Yes."
"(Julia) Now, will the destruction of Collinwood happen before those two events happen, or after?"
"(Daphne) After, of course! Have you no sense of drama, woman??"

"(Julia) You will answer the questions without editorializing."
"(Daphne) Sorry, Master."
"(Julia) Let's talk about The Murder for a moment. Do you know who is destined to be murdered?"
"(Daphne) Yes."
"(Julia) Who?"
"(Daphne) I am."
"(Julia) You?? Oh, I'm terribly sorry!"
"(Daphne) Oh, it's okay, I'm used to dying by now. You know, after the first time it's not so bad."

"(Julia) Do you know... do you know when you'll be murdered? And how?"
"(Daphne) The Green Flag. The Green Flag… will be waved in the window. Three times. Three times at the window. "(Julia) The window? The window of the Tower Room, of course! I saw the Green Flag there when I followed David once. Do you know when will this happen?"
"(Daphne) I… I don’t know. I don’t know exactly when."
"(Julia) I see."
"(Daphne) But considering there are only 6 episodes left in the story, it's not like there's a whole lot of leeway."

"(Julia) Do you know when Rose Cottage will be destroyed?"
"(Daphne) The Destruction of Rose Cottage... is tonight!"
"(Julia) Tonight?? I've got to get busy..."

"(Daphne) Is there anything else I can do for you? Master?"
"(Julia) How I LOVE the sound of that! Yes, there's just one more thing. From now on, whenever you see Quentin, you will laugh hysterically when he... (Whisper, Whisper, Whisper)"
"(Daphne) Laugh? When he does THAT?? Won't that be a huge blow to his ego?"
"(Julia) A crushing one! (to herself) That'll fix Quentin for betraying us!"
(fade to black)

"(Julia) Oh, wait a minute. I forgot to ask her if it was the dollhouse or the real house that was going to get destroyed. Ah, nertz!"


"(Hallie) Tad, I just had a great idea! Now that we're alive again, we've got two of these things that would probably go for a bundle on eBay!"
"(David) Better keep 'em. Around here we're bound to need 'em again soon."


"(Bob Lloyd) Good news! After your appearance on today's show..."
"(Ernest Baxter) Yes? Yes?"
"(Bob Lloyd) ...Your shoes are nationally famous!"
"(Ernest Baxter) D'oh!"

"I'm Tom Bodett for Motel 6, and our rooms look a lot better than this one."

          Episode 1103:   Julia discovers Daphne is alive when she finds her in David's room at Wyndcliffe.