A Photo-Comic version of the original Dark Shadows Series,
With All-New Dialogue That Converts the Show into a Sitcom

Text Copyright © 1999-2016 by Graeme Cree
Adapted from original scripts by Sam Hall, Gordon Russell and Joe Caldwell
Images copyright by Dan Curtis Productions, and created by Linda Cree

Dark Shadows Captions is (are?) a novel-length photo-comic adaptation of the original 1966-1971 Dark Shadows series. The original storylines are re-told through a series of captioned photos, scene by scene, episode by episode, but all of the dialogue is rewritten in the form of a sitcom. Currently, we're going through the "Summer 1970 Story", a 49-episode storyline that ran from Episodes 1061-1109.


Dark Shadows Captions 10; Chapters 410-411:
From The 1795 Story. Barnabas rises as a vampire for the first time, and learns about cell mitosis.

Dark Shadows Captions 6; Chapter 92:
A sample chapter (Chapter 92, in fact) from one of the Dark Shadows Captions Books. (the 6th one, in fact), which is also the 92nd "chapter" of the Burke Devlin story, the Cast List for which you can read above. Comes with a Quick-Start Guide to the Story So Far, and actually stands on its own quite well.

Episode 54, Where Are You?:
After years of captioning Dark Shadows episodes in the manner shown in the sample chapter above, we finally had the bright idea that the same method could be used to present the episodes in their original form. What a concept, huh? And as it happens, there's one episode that never got shown in the 5 times that the Sci-Fi Channel aired the series. Due to a film can labeling error, they always showed Episode 59 twice, and Episode 54 not at all.

The Dark Shadows Viewmaster Reels:
A tongue-in-cheek look at the Dark Shadows Viewmaster package, put out in 1968. Not for the faint of heart or uninitiated, as Viewmaster turned the story into a totally incomprehensible mess.

The Collins Family In History...

"(Nicholas) Is it really true? That story that Isaac Collins bought Collinsport from the Indians for $24 worth of brandy?"
"(Stokes) Yes indeed. It was regarded as the most one-sided deal in the history of the colonies."
"(Nicholas) By historians?"
"(Stokes) By Isaac. Unfortunately, by the time he came to his senses, the Indians had already drunk all the brandy."

"(Nicholas) What about the revolutionary period? Did any of the Collins family make their mark there?"
"(Stokes) Oh yes, several. For example, Nathan Hale Collins, famous for saying "I regret that I have but one draught to lift to my country." Or John Paul Collins, who said "I have not yet begun to drink." Patrick Henry Collins: "Give me brandy or give me death." And then of course, there was Benedict Collins."
"(Nicholas) What did he say?"
"(Stokes) He didn't say anything, he was head of the Temperance League."

"(Amy) Who's that portrait?"
"(David) That's Thaddeus Collins. He used to write battle cries in the Civil War."
"(Amy) What do you mean he wrote battle cries?"
"(David) You know, like "Don't Give up the Ship". "I have not yet begun to fight". "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead". He came up with sayings like that to help inspire the troops."
"(Amy) Those ones are famous. What's one he came up with?"
"(David) Well, he's best known for one he wrote for the 20th Maine at Little Round Top: "Wait until you see their head, then give 'em some lead."
"(Amy) He went into battle yelling that?"
"(David) No, he shot himself in the foot to get out of battle that day. He just told it to his Lieutenant."
"(Amy) That doesn't seem very courageous."
"(David) The men turned on the Lieutenant, they say."

The Collins Family In Business...

"(Chris) You know, if you'd asked me a week ago what I knew about the Collinses, I'd have said "Zip". Now they're taking care of my sister."
"(Carolyn) Well, life is funny."
"(Chris) I'd have said 'Oh yeah, they're the ones who live in that haunted house on Widow's Hill'."
"(Carolyn) Well, it's not exactly "haunted", it's more... atmospheric."
"(Chris) They're the ones who own that cannery that pays minimum wage, and leads the northeast in industrial accidents."
"(Carolyn) Can we go back to "Zip"?"

"(Carolyn) Have you ever known the Collins family to take in strangers? For years, nothing. Then suddenly Jason McGuire and Julia Hoffman both take up long-term residence within the space of a few months, for no obvious reason. Didn't you wonder why?"
"(Tony) Yeah, I did think that was strange."
"(Carolyn) Well, surely you knew it was something scandalous."
"(Tony) Oh, well of course. But you can't put too much stock in that. I'm biased, I think everything the Collins family does is scandalous. I even thought it was a scandal when they painted their fence last year."
"(Carolyn) I don't remember anyone thinking that was a scandal."
"(Tony) No, they managed to whitewash that one."

"(Blair) You'll notice that the only Collins property that doesn't have a mortgage on it is the big house; Collinwood itself."
"(Burke) I suppose pride kept them from putting that up for hock."
"(Blair) Not at all. According to Mr. Harris, Mrs. Stoddard's banker, she practically got down on one knee and begged him to let her borrow money off of it, but he turned her down. It seems the place isn't considered an asset. It's more of a liability."
"(Burke) I wonder why?"
"(Blair) Who would want it? A big old house like that? A century old, and full of secrets. Anyone buying it would be likely to have it seized, anyway. Either by the state as a historical landmark, or by the FBI as a crime scene."

The Collins Family In Miscellany...

"(Liz Stoddard, reading) Which Greedy Capitalist do you most resemble? Take this simple quiz... Oh, look! The article lists me as one of the possible answers! Well, I'd better answer these questions carefully. I'd hate to find out that I wasn't like myself..."

"(Chris) What is this place?"
"(Barnabas) It's the mausoleum secret room."
"(Chris) I can see that, but why does such a thing even exist?"
"(Barnabas) It was built during the Revolutionary War to store ammunition for the Battle of Bunker Hill."
"(Chris) Collinsport, Maine is kind of a long way from Bunker Hill, isn't it?"
"(Barnabas) That's why, until they streamlined the process, Minutemen were referred to as Fortnightmen."

Identifying Themselves:
"(Roger) Who answered when you called Collinwood just now?"
"(Sam) I couldn't tell."
"(Roger) Well, 'Whiny' is Carolyn, 'Bratty' is David, 'Clueless' is Miss Winters, and 'Haughty' is Liz."
"(Sam) It was Prissy."
"(Roger) Well, that's me, and I know you didn't talk to me!"


Group Name: Dark Shadows Captions

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