Return to the main Tom Lehrer Page

MISCELLANEOUS TOM LEHRER SONGS

Physical Revue (1964)

Text by (jbmorris@copper.ucs.indiana.edu)

As a visiting prof in '64(?), Lehrer presented the final class session in one of the undergrad physics courses.

Anyway, the class met in a physics lecture hall like Varian 100 or 101 in the Tank, with electrically operated blackboards. When this last special session was held, the lecture table had been rolled out, and a grand piano rolled in. The electric blackboards had been painted with colored chalk to look exactly like the proscenium and curtains at the Boston Symphony. The room was packed with everyone in the Department.

Lehrer came in, in tails as I remember, dramatically punched the button that made the "curtains" go up, underneath was written in large letters "The Physical Revue", and he began an hour's worth of just that. Besides the "Derivative Song" (I think), there was certainly the "Periodic Table" song, Lobachevsky, and a round, sung with four associates, which I've never encountered since, which had Lehrer as professor and the others as students singing:

  Now then, are there any questions?    (G G G-G-G-G E C)
  Now then, are there any questions?    (ditto)
  If there are none,                    (C C C A)
  Then I am done                        (C C C G)
  (And I have nothing more to say-ay)   (E D C B D C A D C)

(Last line not sure about, and also the music may be wrong)

First student:

  Man, he asks if there are questions
  Man, I've got a million questions
  I've got a ton,
  And every one,
  Would take a half a day to ans-wer.

There may have been more verses; I don't remember. If someone else knows of this, I'd be delighted to hear of a place to locate it. (It may have been a follow-on to the "Professor's Song"?)


Click here to return to the Tom Lehrer main page.
Click here to return to the Overstocked Surplus Warehouse.