THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS

8. So Long, Mom (A Song For World War III)

This year we've been celebrating the hundredth anniversary of the Civil War and the fiftieth anniversary of the beginning of World War I and the twentieth anniversary of the end of World War II. So all in all, it's been a good year for the war buffs. And a number of LPs and television specials have come out capitalizing on all this nostalgia, with particular emphasis on the songs of the various wars.

I feel that if any songs are gonna come out of World War III, we'd better start writing them now. I have one here. Might call it a bit of pre-nostalgia.

This is the song that some of the boys sang as they went bravely off to World War III:^*

So long, mom,
I'm off to drop the bomb,
So don't wait up for me.
But while you swelter
Down there in your shelter
You can see me
On your TV.

While we're attacking frontally
Watch Brinkally and Huntally**
Describing contrapuntally
The cities we have lost.
No need for you to miss a minute of the agonizing holocaust.  Yeah!

Little Johnny Jones, he was a US pilot,
And no shrinking violet was he.
He was mighty proud when World War III was declared.
He wasn't scared, no siree!

And this is what he said on
His way to Armageddon:

So long, mom,
I'm off to drop the bomb,
So don't wait up for me.
But though I may roam,
I'll come back to my home
Although it may be
A pile of debris.

Remember, mommy,
I'm off to get a commie,
So send me a salami
And try to smile somehow.
I'll look for you when the war is over,
An hour and a half from now!

Notes

      ^* Loosely based on a popular World War II song called Goodbye, Mama (I'm Off to Yokohama). At long last, we've got the lyrics, as supplied by Kelvin Palm, as transcribed from an audio file at the Miller Nichols Library.

Goodbye mama
I'm off to Yokohama
For the red, white, and blue
My country and you.
Goodbye mama
I'm off to Yokohama
Just to teach all those Japs
The Yanks are no saps
A million fightin' sons-of-Uncle Sam, if you please
Will soon have all those Japs right down on their Japa-knees
So goodbye mama
I'm off to Yokohama
For my country, my flag, and you.

Say Goodbye to mama.
You're off to Yokohama.
So be brave and be strong,
You won't be gone long.
Say bye-bye mama,
The land of Yama-Yama,
Until April, I guess,
Will be your address.
On Christmas Eve when dad and I are trimming the tree,
You'll do your share of trimming out on land and on sea.
Say goodbye to mama,
You're off to Yokohama,
For your country, your flag and me.

Goodbye mama,
I'm off to Yokohama
For the red, white, and blue,
My country and you.
Goodbye mama,
I'm off to Yokohama
Just to teach all those Japs
The Yanks are no saps.
A million fightin' sons-of-Uncle Sam, if you please
Will soon have all those Japs right down on their Japa-knees.
Goodbye mama,
I'm off to Yokohama,
For my country, my flag, and you.

      ^** Chet Huntley (1911-1974) and David Brinkley (1920-2003), co-anchors of the famed The Huntley-Brinkley Report, which ran from 1956-1970, and won Emmies in 1959 and 1960.

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