TOM LEHRER REVISITED

13. Be Prepared

I have time for one more here. This one is a little song dedicated to the Boy Scouts of America, [applause] who seem to have a convention here tonight. The Boy Scouts of America, those noble little... bastions of democracy, and the American Legion of tomorrow. Their motto is... I would like to state at this time that I am not now and have never been^*... a member of the Boy Scouts of America. Their motto is, as you know, Be Prepared! and that is the name of this song.

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' marching song, Be prepared! As through life you march along. Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well. Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell. Be prepared! To hide that pack of cigarettes. Don't make book if you cannot cover bets. Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure that they will not be found, And be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around,** For he only will insist that they be shared, be prepared! Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed, Be prepared! And be clean in word and deed. Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice, Unless you get a good percentage of her price. Be prepared! And be careful not to do Your good deeds when there's no one watching you. If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind, And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined, Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared. Be prepared!

Notes

      ^* A reference to the question asked of witnesses by the House Un-American Activities Committee during the McCarthy era: "Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?"

      ^** In some live performances, these last two lines were given as:

Keep that pot hidden where you're sure that it will not be found,
and be careful not to turn on when the scoutmaster's around,

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