This song was written for "The Electric Company" TV show in 1972, but was never released on record until it showed up in 1990 as a bonus track on the CD of Tom Lehrer Revisited.
You're wearing your squeaky shoes, And right there taking a snooze Is a tiger, so how do you walk on by? [loud whisper] Silently, silently, Silent L.Y. You're a secret agent man * Who's after the secret plan. How do you act so they don't know you're a spy? [acting suspiciously] Normally [whistle], normally [whistle], Normal L.Y. At an eating contest you boast That you can eat the most. How do you down your fiftieth piece of pie? [nauseated] Eagerly (ugh!), eagerly (yech!), Eager L.Y. On the lake your boat upset, And your clothes got soaking wet. How do you stand and wait for them to dry? [shivering] D-d-d-d-d-d-patiently, D-d-d-d-d-d-patiently, D-d-d-d-d-d-patient L.Y. In the public library You fall and hurt your knee. But the sign says QUIET PLEASE, so how can you cry? [crying] Quietly [sniff], quietly [sniff], Quiet L.Y. As you walk along the street A porcupine you meet. How do you shake his hand when he says "hi"? [warily] Ah, carefully, carefully, Careful L.Y. You enter a very dark room, And sitting there in the gloom Is Dracula. Now how do you say goodbye? Immediately, immediately, Immediate L.Y. Bye bye!
*A vague reference to the song Secret Agent Man, by Johnny Rivers, which was used as the theme song for the TV series Danger Man, when it was broadcast in the US in the mid 60's.
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