Almost every day during the hunting season you see at least one item in the
newspapers about somebody who has shot somebody else, under the impression
that he was a deer with a red hat, perhaps. Maybe a large flesh-colored squirrel.
At any rate, it seems to me that this marks an encouraging new trend in the
field of blood sports, and deserves a new type of hunting song which I present
herewith.
*In the orchestral version of this song,
the last two stanzas are repeated.
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TOM LEHRER REVISITED
8. The Hunting Song
I always will remember,
'Twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.
I was in no mood to trifle,
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day!
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.
The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.
People ask me how I do it,
And I say "There's nothin' to it,
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow.
Notes
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