Now if I may indulge in a bit of personal history, a few years ago I worked for a while at the Los Alamos scientific laboratory in New Mexico. I had a job there as a spy. No, I guess you know that the staff out there at that time was composed almost exclusively of spies...of one persuasion or another. And, while I was out there, I came to realize how much the Wild West had changed since the good old days of Wyatt Earp and Home on the Range, and here then is a modern cowboy ballad commemorating that delightful metamorphosis, called The Wild West Is Where I Wanna Be.
Along the trail you'll find me lopin' Where the spaces are wide open, In the land of the old A.E.C.* Yee-hoo! Where the scenery's attractive, And the air is radioactive, Oh, the Wild West is where I wanna be. 'Mid the sagebrush and the cactus I'll watch the fellows practice Droppin' bombs through the clean desert breeze. A-ha! I'll have on my sombrero, And of course I'll wear a pair o' Levis over my lead B.V.D.'s.** I will leave the city's rush, Leave the fancy and the plush, Leave the snow and leave the slush And the crowds. I will seek the desert's hush, Where the scenery is lush, How I long to see the mush-room clouds. 'Mid the yuccas and the thistles I'll watch the guided missiles, While the old F.B.I. watches me. Yee-hoo! Yes, I'll soon make my appearance (Soon as I can get my clearance), 'Cause the Wild West is where I wanna be.
* Atomic Energy Commission
** An old expression for men's underwear, taken from the acronym of the company Bradley, Voorhees & Day, today known as Fruit of the Loom.
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